Best dive bar ever.

[WeAintFoundShit]

So my girlfriend and I have been looking for places to hang out in Davis/Sacramento that aren't proof of douche (see, there's that phrase). She spotted this one joint on her way out of the gym that just has an old, worn out, yellow sign that just has the word "club," and an arrow pointing down at the door. The rest of the writing has faded into oblivion.

We went in to check it out last night, and upon walking in the door we are encountered with a long, narrow place that has one large group of 8 or so Chinese people, obviously busting each others' balls in Chinese, and one white bald guy sitting at the far end of the bar.

The place itself has got cheap, 70s wood paneling on the walls of the type you'd see in the billiards room of a poorly finished basement, maybe with a KISS poster on it. The carpet hasn't been changed out, or probably even cleaned since the 80s, and is a total garish red and was just flopped down over what used to be a tile floor.
There's two random, dead TVs. One with a random, dead VHS player beneath it. There's also a folding table with an old ass microwave, and two pieces of electronic houseware that I couldn't readily identify. The table itself is tucked neatly against a pile of random rubbish. Not stinky garbage, mind you, but just crap, like would accumulate in the corner of an average person's garage.

There's a poster of Karate Kid behind the bar, the most random decorations you could put in one joint, and a dazzlingly out of place flat screen high def TV that was tuned to a sports station.

We sit down at the bar, and ask the bartender if he could make us two Manhattans. The bartender, a guy in his late 40s named Jackson, who we later found out spent a couple of years as a semi pro hockey player, but as it turns out is only missing teeth because his three year old watched Kung Fu Panda one too many times and kicked him in the face, doesn't know how to make a Manhattan. Or anything but beer in a glass, actually.

So after saying "OK, screw the Manhattans, how about a Bourbon and Ginger instead?" We then had to guide him through the identification of the bourbon we wanted, and had to help him find bitters because his bar doesn't have ginger ale, and he has no fucking clue what bitters is. (For those who don't know, "bar ginger" is mostly sprite, a couple splashes of coke, and a dousing of aromatic bitters.)

After finding all of that for him, we have to help him out with what size glass to put the drinks in. This would be an easy task, only no two glasses in the entire bar match. No shit, it was the MOST random collection of glassware that I've ever seen in my entire fucking life. It's like someone went around to hundreds of grandmas' houses and stole one glass of whatever size from each. Classic.

So after finding two appropriate tumblers, he pours us the booze, sets down the rest of the fixings in front of us, and lets us mix our drinks to taste.

Then he asked US how much we owed him. "About five or six each. Here's fifteen, keep the change."
He takes the three fives, and throws them on top of a cash register that has to have come from the 1940s or 50s. Huge, two drawers, mechanical push buttons, the works. Only it's buried in bricabrac and random bullshit.

As it turns out, it's the guy's wife who runs the bar, and it has been in her family for 30 odd years. He's a white guy from Toronto with classically bad luck (his hockey team went under, he turned into a drunk and lost his first wife because of it, then got another shot at playing hockey and crashed his ultralight and broke both of his legs... that sort of luck). His wife and her family are off the boat Chinese.
Every chance he gets he proudly shows off his picture of his new 6 month old daughter whose fault it is that his wife isn't there running the bar, and he's bumbling about it instead.
The daughter is a cute baby, but in the picture she has the most cross, sideways look I've ever seen on a baby in my entire life. She literally looks like the landlady from Kung Fu Hustle, right before she's about to go kick someone's ass. It's fucking hysterical. The bartender doesn't see the look, he just sees his baby that he OBVIOUSLY adores like nobody's business.

Oh, and the bald white guy at the end of the bar when we first walked in? His name is Lawrence. Lawrence in a lawyer, about in his 60s, is bald as a cue, and looks like he hasn't seen the sun in forty years. Lawrence is also a swerving drunk regular who commandeers the jukebox to dance to disco tunes and sing off key all night. He knows the songs by heart.
Lawrence bought my girl and I a bunch of drinks under the premise of "There's something wrong with those two, they like each other."
I can only imagine what goes on behind Lawrence's eyes. Heartbreak? Bitterness? Something, though. He's got the look about him that says "I'm in this dive every night, and I get this drunk for a reason."

When I asked Lawrence what kind of legal work he does, his reply was a swaggering "I defend the innocent! (And the soon to be guilty.)"

So we sit there, and listen to the Chinese bust balls, and of course it was the only woman of the bunch who was clearly the alpha member of the group. She had the "I'll slap the shit out of you" look clearly about her, and this indeed was verified by our bartender, Jackson.

We listen to Lawrence sing and dance to disco.
We listen to Jackson tell stories about how the place used to be jam packed every night, but how it went down hill when they got busted for letting folks gamble ("Now we have to use these goddamned 'fun chips' instead of money") and how the place got shut down TWICE for letting people stay after hours, and how the business never really came back after that.

Then he locks the door and says "It's after two, just let me know when you want to leave and I'll make sure the coast is clear before I let you out. Oh, and if you get a DUI, you can sign that guitar over there on the wall."

There's so much more about the place that could never be put into words.

[Groove]

Sounds like a hell of a place.

I found a favorite here on the East Coast, it's literally in an alleyway named Protection Ave. and it's got enough atmosphere to make Mars habitable. I can stash my motorbike just outside the window and they turn on MotoGP races when I arrive. Old places like these are the best!




The bar room is almost unchanged since this 1890's photo except for electric lighting and a stereo.

[WeAintFoundShit]

That place looks fucking rad.

[Drift]

Absolutely great write up. You just made my day better. If I am ever in The Sac again, I'm going.

I love real dives.

If you ever happen to be in Spokane WA, look up a joint called The Mayfair. It has a lot of similarties to your find.

[Rabbit_Fighter]

Sounds awesome. I love a good dive bar.

Hey Drift - you're a Northender - what's your favorite dive out here?

I've had some interesting evenings at the Baranoff in Greenwood, and I also like The Stirrup Room at the Rimrock Steakhouse in Lake City.

[Drift]

Hey rabbitfighter, my fav dive bar up north is Engels Pub in Edmonds. Been there 75 years and there isn't a 90 degree angle in the entire joint.

Although it doesn't have the punk-crust, it's the real deal and bike friendly. It's also the first place my dad ever bought me a beer.

Any suggestions? I don't get to go out much and when I do, it's usually downtown to the 5 Point (where I used to own a stool) and The Funhouse for some punk rock.

[Rabbit_Fighter]

Hey rabbitfighter, my fav dive bar up north is Engels Pub in Edmonds. Been there 75 years and there isn't a 90 degree angle in the entire joint.

Although it doesn't have the punk-crust, it's the real deal and bike friendly. It's also the first place my dad ever bought me a beer.

Any suggestions? I don't get to go out much and when I do, it's usually downtown to the 5 Point (where I used to own a stool) and The Funhouse for some punk rock.

Yeah, Engel's is a nice one.

If you like bad geometry, check out the Cabin in Richmond Beach. Once upon a time, it was a bait shop, but is now a little tavern amidst high end residential property. There is a long section of the bar, that is about a 30degree angle. The back is about 4 feet higher than the front, and there are no stairs. Restrooms are for "Inboard" or "Outboard." Last time I was there, the bartender said some neighbors were trying to get them shut down, by making lots of noise complaints, and getting the police to bait them with under-age drinkers.

[rolly]

Bistro, "The Beast"


That picture above, that's the bar, the whole bar, all of it.

Check out these great reviews!

You don't head to Bistro to have a nice, peaceful date. You go to Bistro to get drunk. There's just no other way to put it. Anytime I've gone it was because I wanted to get drunk and there is nowhere cheaper and easier than the Bistro…
…As for the drinks, you can get pitchers of absolutely anything, which is a favourite for me as I can not drink beer for the life of me. So the pitchers of whiskey sours or vodka sodas are what keep me my happy-go-lucky self on those nights.

Bistro 422. I never want to hear someone ask me if I want to go to this disgusting hole again. I don't even care if they raffle of beer or whatever. It's just gross.

I just wish that the employees here were a little more kind, or pleasant, or even neutral.
…And yet, I'll probably still go back here again in the future.

Don't get me wrong, I completely understand all the one star ratings for The Beast, but with this place, you really have to know what you're getting into. I wouldn't venture in to Bistro 422 to spend a whole night drinking with friends in a nice atmosphere....because it's really not a nice atmosphere. But if the mission of the night is to get drunk, then give it a chance and you won't be disappointed.

[Photo]

If you like bad geometry, check out the Cabin in Richmond Beach. Once upon a time, it was a bait shop, but is now a little tavern amidst high end residential property... Last time I was there, the bartender said some neighbors were trying to get them shut down, by making lots of noise complaints, and getting the police to bait them with under-age drinkers.

I really hate that kind of yuppie-assed NIMBY crap. Working on removing a perpetual crack dealer hangout is one thing, but harassing a quiet little dive bar is just evil. More great dive bars have been driven outta business by that crap than I can remember. Gr-r-r-r!

I love ugly, long-forgotten dive bars! Great places to drink, where "well-seasoned" alcoholics roam freely. There's nothing in South Metro Denver but the typical backward-hat, 30-something, suburban-douchebag sports bars and TGIFridays.

[MagnusTheBuilder]

There is a place in Denver like this. It has no name, just a door, a hallway, a bar, 3 broken pool tables, 1 working pool table, 2 broken Foosball tables, 1 working Foosball table, an 'eccentric' collection of chairs and bar stools, an equally eccentric collection of glassware (the bartender here also only knows how to open beers.) in any given corner there are golf clubs, doll parts, bowling trophies and all other wonderful et cetera.

I would have no problem showing people this place during Ragnarok.

[UndertheGun]

Hey rabbitfighter, my fav dive bar up north is Engels Pub in Edmonds. Been there 75 years and there isn't a 90 degree angle in the entire joint.

Although it doesn't have the punk-crust, it's the real deal and bike friendly. It's also the first place my dad ever bought me a beer.

Thats one place that always stood out to me when I lived in Edmonds in highschool. I never had a chance to check it out as I was underage still by the time I escaped the bougie hell pit that Edmonds has become.
You can tell that Engel's was from a different era; before Edmonds was all rich person old-folks-homes, travel boutiques and asian restaurants run by white people.

[motorpsycho67]

Los Angeles has all kinds of old dives. Some are downright scary. Tranny hookers, crackheads, bums and thugs (oh my). Don't have any pics though.

[Flatline]

Los Angeles has all kinds of old dives. Some are downright scary. Tranny hookers, crackheads, bums and thugs (oh my). Don't have any pics though.

Cocktease.

[DerGolgo]

Bistro, "The Beast"

So, this is Pattio's local, I presume...