So my girlfriend's birthday is coming up next week, and the thing she wanted for it was to go on a weekend getaway somewhere nice. Originally she was thinking Yosemite, then it was a fancy hot springs. Whatever, the point is that all of her options were upwards of $200 a night.
Now I've been telling her that I'm broke. I'm a college student without a job, of course I'm broke. I told her that I would try to put this trip on my credit card, but only because it's her birthday. My credit card, btw, has a $500 limit on it, and I generally only use it for emergencies, or for those times when I run out of money before my next financial aid disbursement.
Well, as it turns out, I need to buy the orthotic shoe insert thingies that the Dr. just prescribed to fix my ankle (~$200) and my car registration is due this month (~$240). Oh, and there was already a $40 balance on my card.
I'm sure you can do the math and figure out that I just can't fucking afford to have any romantic getaways for her birthday (AND valentines day! It's the same weekend!).
As a matter of fact, I can't afford shit. Not even a fancy gift!
Soooooo.... I need ideas. Cheap, fun, romantic, gift/getaway ideas before my girlfriend kills me.
Help a brother out!
PLEASE LOGIN TO SEE ANYTHING.
This measure is inconvenient, yes, but necessary at present.
Click below for more information.
EVERYTHING IS MARKED UNREAD!!
2024 LOGIN/Posting ISSUES
If you cannot Debauch because you get an IP blacklist error, try Debauching again time. It may work immediately, it may take a few attempts. It will work eventually, I don't think I had to click debauch more than three times. Someone is overzealous at our hosting company, but only on the first couple of attempts.
If you have problems logging in, posting, or doing anything else, please get in touch.
You know the email (if you don't, see in the registration info below), you know where to find the Administerrerrerr on the Midget Circus.
Some unpleasant miscreant was firing incessant database queries at our server, which forced the Legal Department of our hosting company, via their Abuse subdivision, to shut us down. No I have none.
All I can do it button the hatches, and tighten up a few things. Such as time limits on how long you may take to compose a post and hit Debauch! As of 24/01/10, I've set that at 30 minutes for now.
To restrict further overloads, any unregistered users had to be locked out.
How do we know who is or isn't an unregistered user?
By forcing anyone who wants in to Log In.
Is that annoying?
Yes. But there's only so much the Administerrerrerr can do to keep this place running.
Again, if you have any problems: get in touch.
REGISTRATION! NEW USERS!
This measure is inconvenient, yes, but necessary at present.
Click below for more information.
EVERYTHING IS MARKED UNREAD!!
click her for the instant fix
Show
First fix:
Because the board got shutdown again because of a load of database, I had to fettle with the settings again.
As part of that, the server no longer stores what topics you have or haven't read.
IT IS STILL RECORDED!
But now, that information lives in a delicious cookie, rather than the forum database.
Upside: this should reduce the load of database.
Downside: if you use multiple devices to access the board, or you reject delicious cookies, you won't always have that information cookie. But the New Posts feature should take care of that.
PLEASE NOTIFY THE ADMINISTERRERRERR ABOUT ANY PROBLEMS!
- open the menu at the top
- hit New Posts to see what's actually new and browse the new stuff from there
- go back to the Forum Index
- open the menu at the top again
- click Mark forums read
this will zero the unread anything for you, so you can strive forth into the exciting world of the new cookie thing.
Because the board got shutdown again because of a load of database, I had to fettle with the settings again.
As part of that, the server no longer stores what topics you have or haven't read.
IT IS STILL RECORDED!
But now, that information lives in a delicious cookie, rather than the forum database.
Upside: this should reduce the load of database.
Downside: if you use multiple devices to access the board, or you reject delicious cookies, you won't always have that information cookie. But the New Posts feature should take care of that.
PLEASE NOTIFY THE ADMINISTERRERRERR ABOUT ANY PROBLEMS!
2024 LOGIN/Posting ISSUES
Click if you have a problem.
Show
If you cannot Debauch because you get an IP blacklist error, try Debauching again time. It may work immediately, it may take a few attempts. It will work eventually, I don't think I had to click debauch more than three times. Someone is overzealous at our hosting company, but only on the first couple of attempts.
If you have problems logging in, posting, or doing anything else, please get in touch.
You know the email (if you don't, see in the registration info below), you know where to find the Administerrerrerr on the Midget Circus.
Some unpleasant miscreant was firing incessant database queries at our server, which forced the Legal Department of our hosting company, via their Abuse subdivision, to shut us down. No I have none.
All I can do it button the hatches, and tighten up a few things. Such as time limits on how long you may take to compose a post and hit Debauch! As of 24/01/10, I've set that at 30 minutes for now.
To restrict further overloads, any unregistered users had to be locked out.
How do we know who is or isn't an unregistered user?
By forcing anyone who wants in to Log In.
Is that annoying?
Yes. But there's only so much the Administerrerrerr can do to keep this place running.
Again, if you have any problems: get in touch.
REGISTRATION! NEW USERS!
Registration Information
Show
Automatic registration is disabled for security reasons.
But fear not!
You can register!
Option the First:
Please drop our fearless Administerrerrerr a line.
Tell him who you are, that you wish to join, and what you wish your username to be. The Administerrerrerr will get back to you. If you're human, and you're not a damn spammer, expect a reply within 24 hoursish. Usually quicker, rarely slower.
Unfortunately, the Contact Form is being a total primadonna right now, so please send an email to the obvious address.
Posting this address in clear text is just the "on" switch for spambots, but here is a hint.
Option the Second:
Find us on Facebook, in the magnificent
Umah Thurman Midget Circus
Join up there, or just drop the modmins a message. They will pass any request on to the Administerrerrerr for this place.
But fear not!
You can register!
Option the First:
Please drop our fearless Administerrerrerr a line.
Tell him who you are, that you wish to join, and what you wish your username to be. The Administerrerrerr will get back to you. If you're human, and you're not a damn spammer, expect a reply within 24 hoursish. Usually quicker, rarely slower.
Unfortunately, the Contact Form is being a total primadonna right now, so please send an email to the obvious address.
Posting this address in clear text is just the "on" switch for spambots, but here is a hint.
Option the Second:
Find us on Facebook, in the magnificent
Umah Thurman Midget Circus
Join up there, or just drop the modmins a message. They will pass any request on to the Administerrerrerr for this place.
I need ideas, quick!
-
WeAintFoundShit
- Ayatollah of Mayhem
- Location: Davis
-
guitargeek
- Master Metric Necromancer
- Location: East Goatfuck, Oklahoma
- Contact:
Write her a song, sing it for her, apologize for being broke, give her the puppy dog eyes, then go down on her.
Works every time.
Works every time.
Elitist, arrogant, intolerant, self-absorbed.
Midliferider wrote:Wish I could wipe this shit off my shoes but it's everywhere I walk. Dang.
Pattio wrote:Never forget, as you enjoy the high road of tolerance, that it is those of us doing the hard work of intolerance who make it possible for you to shine.
xtian wrote:Sticking feathers up your butt does not make you a chicken
-
UndertheGun
- Barista of Doom
- Location: Seattle/Olympia
- Contact:
I just broke up with my gf last night. Sooo glad we ended it before Valentine's day.
I hate the holiday for all of the unrealistic/unhealthy expectations built into it...
That said, find something local and interactive. Cook her a good dinner and dessert. Aim to engage, please, and excite.
Yes, I know I'm good at being vague.
I hate the holiday for all of the unrealistic/unhealthy expectations built into it...
That said, find something local and interactive. Cook her a good dinner and dessert. Aim to engage, please, and excite.
Yes, I know I'm good at being vague.
-
xtian
- Le coureur de lames chasse Tinti...
- Location: belgium
- Contact:
-
Flatline
- Ayatollah of Mayhem
- Location: Seattle
- Contact:
See, I was going to suggest breaking up with her. Takes care of everythingUndertheGun wrote:I just broke up with my gf last night. Sooo glad we ended it before Valentine's day.
I hate the holiday for all of the unrealistic/unhealthy expectations built into it...
That said, find something local and interactive. Cook her a good dinner and dessert. Aim to engage, please, and excite.
Yes, I know I'm good at being vague.
Somehow I always manage to be single for the holidays and VD...But the food thing is a good idea too, I guess.
You build it, we break it.
-
GeekGrl
- Magnum Jihad
- Location: Out in the black
Er ... if your girlfriend is actually going to be pissed because you aren't giving her a $200/night weekend getaway due to the reasons you stated: get a new girlfriend.
But if she's actually going to appreciate something that doesn't cost money: cooking dinner is a very good plan. Set the table, light some candles, clean the bathroom, make the bed ... and then give her your undivided attention.
But if she's actually going to appreciate something that doesn't cost money: cooking dinner is a very good plan. Set the table, light some candles, clean the bathroom, make the bed ... and then give her your undivided attention.
"This is what I do, darlin'. This is what I do." -- Mal Reynolds
'09 Triumph Bonneville
'02 Suzuki GZ250 (sold, may it have new journeys)
Tales from a solo ride: http://www.waywardrider.com" onclick="window.open(this.href);return false;
'09 Triumph Bonneville
'02 Suzuki GZ250 (sold, may it have new journeys)
Tales from a solo ride: http://www.waywardrider.com" onclick="window.open(this.href);return false;
-
karl package
- Magnum Jihad
- Location: People's Republic of Portland
VD all alone eh? I'm not buying it.Flatline wrote:
See, I was going to suggest breaking up with her. Takes care of everything
Everything is true. God is an astronaut. Oz is over the rainbow, and Midian is where the monsters live... And you came to die.
-
xtian
- Le coureur de lames chasse Tinti...
- Location: belgium
- Contact:
ok stop whinning and pay tribute to a true genius in relationships:
I just left my credit card in the money machine at the bank and it's been disabled. (the card, not the machine). (or what the hell you call that). so I am officially unable to buy anything for a week or so.
ok, my timing is a little short, but just be a lunatic idiot like me in a couple of days and TADAAAA job done.
I just left my credit card in the money machine at the bank and it's been disabled. (the card, not the machine). (or what the hell you call that). so I am officially unable to buy anything for a week or so.
ok, my timing is a little short, but just be a lunatic idiot like me in a couple of days and TADAAAA job done.
I'm not really from around here.
-
erosvamp
- Sophisticated Meat Machine
- Location: denver
I like the making dinner idea... ...and the sex idea.
Do you have Special sex that you only do every now and then? Butt sex? Role playing? Oral sex?
Give her a bath while she is blindfolded.
Wash her in the shower... with your tongue.
You get the idea.
Women like to be told they are sexy and special. Some times it really is the little things... like a dick in the ass.
Have you heard of groupon? http://www.groupon.com
If not, check them out. Every day, assuming you live by a big city, they list a kick ass, seriously discounted coupon for something fun, delish or awesome.
Both of Mag's VD presents came from there... one's an activity we both can do on V day ($20), the other is an activity he can do by himself ($29).
Good Luck!
Do you have Special sex that you only do every now and then? Butt sex? Role playing? Oral sex?
Give her a bath while she is blindfolded.
Wash her in the shower... with your tongue.
You get the idea.
Women like to be told they are sexy and special. Some times it really is the little things... like a dick in the ass.
Have you heard of groupon? http://www.groupon.com
If not, check them out. Every day, assuming you live by a big city, they list a kick ass, seriously discounted coupon for something fun, delish or awesome.
Both of Mag's VD presents came from there... one's an activity we both can do on V day ($20), the other is an activity he can do by himself ($29).
Good Luck!
"If you don't like change, you're going to like irrelevance even less." -General Eric Shinseki
-
MagnusTheBuilder
- Arbiter of Beard
- Location: Denver, CO
- Contact:
-
motorpsycho67
- Double-dip Diogenes
- Location: City of Angels
-
My Little Pony
- Maltov Rattlecan
- Location: Maine
well, out there on the west coast, things might be different, but on the planet I live on, anal isn't really regarded as a special treat for the gal. Seriously, if your girlfriend will be mad because you're not going into debt for her, or otherwise overreaching financially, she's a selfish bitch and you should ditch her. They're not all like that, you know. Is this the one who likes to text while driving stoned?
Every dollar we spend is a vote for how we want the world to be
-
MagnusTheBuilder
- Arbiter of Beard
- Location: Denver, CO
- Contact:
You're doing it wrong.My Little Pony wrote:well, out there on the west coast, things might be different, but on the planet I live on, anal isn't really regarded as a special treat for the gal.
-- The Mag
2003 Kawasaki Vulcan 1500 Classic
2017 Chevy Silverado
1970 Chevelle SS
1951 Chevy Custom
"He attacked everything in life with a mix of extraordinary genius and naive incompetence, and it was often difficult to tell which was which." --Douglas Adams
2003 Kawasaki Vulcan 1500 Classic
2017 Chevy Silverado
1970 Chevelle SS
1951 Chevy Custom
"He attacked everything in life with a mix of extraordinary genius and naive incompetence, and it was often difficult to tell which was which." --Douglas Adams
-
tumbler
- The Business
- Location: Carmichaels, PA
- Contact:
My Little Pony wrote:well, out there on the west coast, things might be different, but on the planet I live on, anal isn't really regarded as a special treat for the gal. Seriously, if your girlfriend will be mad because you're not going into debt for her, or otherwise overreaching financially, she's a selfish bitch and you should ditch her. They're not all like that, you know. Is this the one who likes to text while driving stoned?
thats a little harsh, but there is some truth to that. get her a card and some flowers and say "happy birthday".
-
Flatline
- Ayatollah of Mayhem
- Location: Seattle
- Contact:
-
goose
- Pâté de Foie Gras
- Location: Foggy Peninsula West of Oakland and South of Marin
now that's what I call backing it in around a tight corner!motorpsycho67 wrote:erosvamp wrote: Some times it really is the little things... like a dick in the ass.
Home cooked meal and a decent bottle of wine sounds like a great idea for a staycation!
Drink triples til you're seeing double, feeling single, and looking for trouble! -Johnny Nitro, RIP
"British bikes of that era are made of a special alloy known as Brittainium. It is the only metal known to be able to rust even when fully submerged in oil. It also corrodes microscopic passages through itself whenever it makes contact with any known gasketing material." - AZ Rider
Re: Husaberg Build: "I pictured it more like the heroin addicted ex that keeps turning up, the bleeding you dry, breaking your heart, and crushing your soul, but you keep taking her back because it's the most fun ride you've ever had..." Bo-9
"British bikes of that era are made of a special alloy known as Brittainium. It is the only metal known to be able to rust even when fully submerged in oil. It also corrodes microscopic passages through itself whenever it makes contact with any known gasketing material." - AZ Rider
Re: Husaberg Build: "I pictured it more like the heroin addicted ex that keeps turning up, the bleeding you dry, breaking your heart, and crushing your soul, but you keep taking her back because it's the most fun ride you've ever had..." Bo-9
-
rolly
- Tim Horton hears a Who?
- Location: Greater Trauma Area
- Contact:
-
Jaeger
- Baron von Scrapple
- Location: NoVA
- Contact:
I fuckin' love you people.rolly wrote:2 Venereal Diseases and a dick in the ass. That Magnus is a classy guy.erosvamp wrote:Both of Mag's VD presents came from there... one's an activity we both can do on V day ($20), the other is an activity he can do by himself ($29).
--Jaeger
<<NON ERRO>>Bigshankhank wrote:The world is a fucking wreck, but there is still sunshine in some places. Go outside and look for it.
2018 Indian Scout -- "Lilah"
-
Toonce(s)
- Asshat Spambot
- Location: south of cheese
I was thinking that She ought to ditch Him and find a bf that wasn't such a cheapskate!My Little Pony wrote:Seriously, if your girlfriend will be mad because you're not going into debt for her, or otherwise overreaching financially, she's a selfish bitch and you should ditch her.
Again, problem solved!
It's a stack of fuck-shit on top of itself, Ninja.
-
JustNate
- Barista of Doom
- Location: Where ever I'm at, that's where I am.
- Contact:
-
Metalredneck
- Largely Uncontroversial
-
goose
- Pâté de Foie Gras
- Location: Foggy Peninsula West of Oakland and South of Marin
I just got one of those. It's like a ticket to the roller coaster, 4 hours of waiting for 30 seconds of screaming.Metalredneck wrote:I can send you a gift certificate for a night with me.
Drink triples til you're seeing double, feeling single, and looking for trouble! -Johnny Nitro, RIP
"British bikes of that era are made of a special alloy known as Brittainium. It is the only metal known to be able to rust even when fully submerged in oil. It also corrodes microscopic passages through itself whenever it makes contact with any known gasketing material." - AZ Rider
Re: Husaberg Build: "I pictured it more like the heroin addicted ex that keeps turning up, the bleeding you dry, breaking your heart, and crushing your soul, but you keep taking her back because it's the most fun ride you've ever had..." Bo-9
"British bikes of that era are made of a special alloy known as Brittainium. It is the only metal known to be able to rust even when fully submerged in oil. It also corrodes microscopic passages through itself whenever it makes contact with any known gasketing material." - AZ Rider
Re: Husaberg Build: "I pictured it more like the heroin addicted ex that keeps turning up, the bleeding you dry, breaking your heart, and crushing your soul, but you keep taking her back because it's the most fun ride you've ever had..." Bo-9
-
erosvamp
- Sophisticated Meat Machine
- Location: denver
rolly wrote:2 Venereal Diseases and a dick in the ass. That Magnus is a classy guy.erosvamp wrote:Both of Mag's VD presents came from there... one's an activity we both can do on V day ($20), the other is an activity he can do by himself ($29).
Hey... he's taking me to an expensive dinner. What more can a girl ask for?
"If you don't like change, you're going to like irrelevance even less." -General Eric Shinseki
-
WeAintFoundShit
- Ayatollah of Mayhem
- Location: Davis
First off, this thread made me laugh my ass off.
Secondly, she's not really gonna get pissed or wanna kill me. She's just bummed because she travels all the way down here from Portland to be around me, and this place fucking sucks for her. She was hoping to be somewhere more enjoyable for her birthday.
Nobody wants to be in a place that they hate for their birthday.
As for cooking, I cook her nice meals as often as possible.
Think homemade pasta sauce with seafood and veggies, stir fry scallops with broccoli and snow peas, garlic edamame (the sauce is a finely chopped garlic, with a mixture of fish and oyster sauce, and a little bit of brown sugar, reduced until it's all gooey) or seared ahi with a wasabi aioli (though that recipe needs some more work).
So dinners, yes, I do those already.
Crafty things I am not so good at, but this is a good idea that I might try. (Scratch that... WILL try, because I just figured out what I could make her).
Anal... That one is a solid plan.
In my experience, women who don't like anal either just have hangups, or have had bad anal in the past. Ya gotta know how to work it. 
Once you get her over that hump, I've never had any complaints. (heh heh... Get her over that hump. ...Anal. Heh heh.)
Secondly, she's not really gonna get pissed or wanna kill me. She's just bummed because she travels all the way down here from Portland to be around me, and this place fucking sucks for her. She was hoping to be somewhere more enjoyable for her birthday.
Nobody wants to be in a place that they hate for their birthday.
As for cooking, I cook her nice meals as often as possible.
Think homemade pasta sauce with seafood and veggies, stir fry scallops with broccoli and snow peas, garlic edamame (the sauce is a finely chopped garlic, with a mixture of fish and oyster sauce, and a little bit of brown sugar, reduced until it's all gooey) or seared ahi with a wasabi aioli (though that recipe needs some more work).
So dinners, yes, I do those already.
Crafty things I am not so good at, but this is a good idea that I might try. (Scratch that... WILL try, because I just figured out what I could make her).
Anal... That one is a solid plan.
In my experience, women who don't like anal either just have hangups, or have had bad anal in the past. Ya gotta know how to work it. Once you get her over that hump, I've never had any complaints. (heh heh... Get her over that hump. ...Anal. Heh heh.)"The grip on the right is the fun regulator." -Donny Greene
I crash a lot.
I crash a lot.
-
erosvamp
- Sophisticated Meat Machine
- Location: denver
Would it be this?WeAintFoundShit wrote: Crafty things I am not so good at, but this is a good idea that I might try. (Scratch that... WILL try, because I just figured out what I could make her).
http://www.createamate.com/default.aspx
"If you don't like change, you're going to like irrelevance even less." -General Eric Shinseki
-
Bestguess
- Casper the Friendly Ghost
WeAintFoundShit
Best of luck with the GF’s birthday, sounds like it will be good and it will all work itself out in the end…
I may even steal your recipe there.
Erosvamp, always with the links I’ll fricken never learn. Well at least I can get the 25% discount
Best of luck with the GF’s birthday, sounds like it will be good and it will all work itself out in the end…
I may even steal your recipe there.
Erosvamp, always with the links I’ll fricken never learn. Well at least I can get the 25% discount
'05 SV 650 (SOLD)
'07 Ducati 1098s(Fixing it, Bitches!)
'09 BMW GS 1200
_________________________________
Gene Police!
You there, out of the Pool!!!
-"WTF, that little piece of plastic cost how much...!"me, looking for OEM Duc fairings
-“…Despite the massive masculinity which a new BMW inflicts upon the senses of passersby, there is something almost ladylike in the manner in which it attacks a curve. A feminine determination to win through manipulation, to bend the curve to its will.
'77 BMW bike ad
'07 Ducati 1098s(Fixing it, Bitches!)
'09 BMW GS 1200
_________________________________
Gene Police!
You there, out of the Pool!!!
-"WTF, that little piece of plastic cost how much...!"me, looking for OEM Duc fairings
-“…Despite the massive masculinity which a new BMW inflicts upon the senses of passersby, there is something almost ladylike in the manner in which it attacks a curve. A feminine determination to win through manipulation, to bend the curve to its will.
'77 BMW bike ad
-
UndertheGun
- Barista of Doom
- Location: Seattle/Olympia
- Contact:
This thread is has the LOLZ.
If not anal, how about Chlamydia? Or, if you're going to take out all of the stops, AIDS (aka TEH AIDZ).
http://www.thinkgeek.com/geektoys/plush/d351/
If not anal, how about Chlamydia? Or, if you're going to take out all of the stops, AIDS (aka TEH AIDZ).
http://www.thinkgeek.com/geektoys/plush/d351/
-
JoJoLesh
- Magnum Jihad
- Location: Mid-Michigan
- Contact:
Wow! I’m not going to read all 2 pages of this thread, but I will aggree with
Geek girl - who said
Been there, had my soul crushed by that. Save yourself the heartache, and get out.
Geek girl - who said
Sorry for the harshness, but... If your to a point where you cant afford things like food, and she dosent care, then she dont care about you.Er ... if your girlfriend is actually going to be pissed because you aren't giving her a $200/night weekend getaway due to the reasons you stated: get a new girlfriend.
Been there, had my soul crushed by that. Save yourself the heartache, and get out.
"Be careful that in casting out your devils, you do not cast out the best thing within you – Nietzsche
-
WeAintFoundShit
- Ayatollah of Mayhem
- Location: Davis
No, do read the whole two pages. It's a riot!
And I agree with that whole sentiment, but I've already covered that point.
She's just bummed is all; not put out or throwing a princess conniption fit or anything. It's really OK; I just want to make it so she has a nice birthday!
And I agree with that whole sentiment, but I've already covered that point.
She's just bummed is all; not put out or throwing a princess conniption fit or anything. It's really OK; I just want to make it so she has a nice birthday!
"The grip on the right is the fun regulator." -Donny Greene
I crash a lot.
I crash a lot.