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A forum for the off topic stuff. Everything from religion to philosophy to sex to humor (see why it used to be called Buggery?). All manner of rude psychological abuse is welcome and encouraged.
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goose
Pâté de Foie Gras
Location: Foggy Peninsula West of Oakland and South of Marin

The universe has imploded . . .

Post by goose » Mon Dec 20, 2010 9:07 am

My brain cannot get a fix on this. On the one hand, I'm happy to see a sponsor of a motorcycle team. On the other hand, it hurts my brain to contemplate the source of this team's funding. It hurts, oh gawd how it hurts. Please, someone make it stop..... please!

http://www.examiner.com/handbags-in-nat ... ing-clutch


Paris Hilton posed for pictures while presenting the SuperMartXe VIP Motorcycle Team at the Hotel ME today in a full motorcycle racing outfit which she accessorized with a sparkling silver evening clutch. Paris Hilton even placed the evening clutch on the motorcycle she posed on as if it were a prop in the photo shoot.

The SuperMartXe VIP Motorcycle Team is a motorcycle racing team started by Paris Hilton. The SuperMartXe VIP Motorcycle Team is scheduled to compete in the 2011 125cc World Championship motorcycle competition using an Aprilla RSA 125. The two confirmed riders are Sergio Gadea of Spain and Maverick Vanales also of Spain.

Paris Hilton will also have a strong technical team behind her SuperMartXe VIP Motorcycle Team. Christian Lundberg and Rossano Brazzi will be behind the team for the 125ccWorld Championship title competition.

To view a slideshow or video of Paris Hilton wearing her sparkling silver evening clutch while posing for pictures as she presented her SuperMartXe VIP by Paris Hilton Motorcycle Team, please click on the slideshow or video to the left of this article. After viewing the slideshow or video, please hit your browsers back button.

Do not miss out on my handbag articles! Click on the subscribe button at the top of this article in order to subscribe to my column.

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Drink triples til you're seeing double, feeling single, and looking for trouble! -Johnny Nitro, RIP

"British bikes of that era are made of a special alloy known as Brittainium. It is the only metal known to be able to rust even when fully submerged in oil. It also corrodes microscopic passages through itself whenever it makes contact with any known gasketing material." - AZ Rider

Re: Husaberg Build: "I pictured it more like the heroin addicted ex that keeps turning up, the bleeding you dry, breaking your heart, and crushing your soul, but you keep taking her back because it's the most fun ride you've ever had..." Bo-9

rolly
Tim Horton hears a Who?
Location: Greater Trauma Area
Contact:

Post by rolly » Mon Dec 20, 2010 9:36 am

It's kind of beautifully bizarre. Every day the world seems more like William Gibson novel.

Regarding dissonance… Leonardo Da Vinci made killing machines for the Medicis. Sponsorship has always been faustian by nature.


EDIT: Goose, I can't wait to see your handbag articles!

User avatar
xtian
Le coureur de lames chasse Tinti...
Location: belgium
Contact:

Post by xtian » Mon Dec 20, 2010 10:01 am

the guy riding this bike will have his lunch money stolen from day one of the championship.
I'm not really from around here.

Pattio
Centrifugal Savant of Two Wheel Transportation
Location: the Olde Wheelery

Post by Pattio » Mon Dec 20, 2010 10:43 am

Seems like a win-win-win for me, in the sense that rich people need to spend/invest/lose money in various ways, so of all the things ms hilton could spend her money on, I'm glad its something I like. This buys her access to networking on the racing circuit, which might just bring her in touch with a classier level of european royal than she is finding on party islands. She gets a reason to jet around the world. A team gets a sponsor (and a lame and garish color scheme to go with it, oh the shame) a rich person gets to blow off some fiscal steam and we (the spectators) get a team to watch, whose name itself can spark lively conversation. I also note that I was only able to type this after I had obscured the picture. My first draft of this was 'boobies'.
-Pattio-

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Jaeger
Baron von Scrapple
Location: NoVA
Contact:

Post by Jaeger » Mon Dec 20, 2010 10:45 am

Pattio wrote:I also note that I was only able to type this after I had obscured the picture. My first draft of this was 'boobies'.
I'm glad someone said it. She may be a vapid, overpriced media whore, but goddamn, she does sport some pretty impressive hypno-titties.

--Jaeger
Bigshankhank wrote:The world is a fucking wreck, but there is still sunshine in some places. Go outside and look for it.
<<NON ERRO>>
2018 Indian Scout -- "Lilah"

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xtian
Le coureur de lames chasse Tinti...
Location: belgium
Contact:

Post by xtian » Mon Dec 20, 2010 10:58 am

Jaeger wrote:
Pattio wrote:I also note that I was only able to type this after I had obscured the picture. My first draft of this was 'boobies'.
I'm glad someone said it. She may be a vapid, overpriced media whore, but goddamn, she does sport some pretty impressive hypno-titties.

--Jaeger
that's funny, my first thought was "she isn't even trying to look smart or classy, she's just trying as hard as she can to have boobies"

not

impressed.
I'm not really from around here.

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Sisyphus
Rigging the Ancient Mariner
Location: The Muckworks
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Post by Sisyphus » Mon Dec 20, 2010 11:32 am

I'd ride it.
Sent from my POS laptop plugged into the wall

goose
Pâté de Foie Gras
Location: Foggy Peninsula West of Oakland and South of Marin

Post by goose » Mon Dec 20, 2010 12:36 pm

Rev wrote:
rolly wrote:EDIT: Goose, I can't wait to see your handbag articles!
Or at least your reasons for getting your news from the "National Handbag Examiner." :lol:
you google motorcycle + aprilia + clutch in the news section, and whammo, you're Goose the Sheep Shagger
Drink triples til you're seeing double, feeling single, and looking for trouble! -Johnny Nitro, RIP

"British bikes of that era are made of a special alloy known as Brittainium. It is the only metal known to be able to rust even when fully submerged in oil. It also corrodes microscopic passages through itself whenever it makes contact with any known gasketing material." - AZ Rider

Re: Husaberg Build: "I pictured it more like the heroin addicted ex that keeps turning up, the bleeding you dry, breaking your heart, and crushing your soul, but you keep taking her back because it's the most fun ride you've ever had..." Bo-9

12ci
Ayatollah of Mayhem
Location: Rive Gauche Anacostia

Post by 12ci » Mon Dec 20, 2010 12:43 pm

Jaeger wrote:
Pattio wrote:I also note that I was only able to type this after I had obscured the picture. My first draft of this was 'boobies'.
I'm glad someone said it. She may be a vapid, overpriced media whore, but goddamn, she does sport some pretty impressive hypno-titties.

--Jaeger
i was wondering if they were/are really hers, or photoshop...
today you decide what tomorrow will bring

roadmissile
Chief Marketing Schwaggerizer
Location: CO

Post by roadmissile » Mon Dec 20, 2010 1:43 pm

Jaeger wrote:She may be a vapid, overpriced media whore
I honestly had to revise my opinion of her since watching Repo! The Genetic Opera and listening to them talk about her in the commentary. And while I'm in no hurry to paint my bike like that it doesn't even crack the top ten in terms of bad graphics.

I'm going with win-win-win as well, although I've just noticed as I'm writing this the pic in the topic review is cutting the top of that picture off at around her elbows :P

Boobies!

/RM
/Speed is our religion.

"If requests are an option, I'd like to be hit by a beautiful and highly trained nurse, driving a marshmallow. Naked. And then she would buy me an ice cream." - Rev

Beemer Dan
Dark Poohbah
Location: Oregon
Contact:

Post by Beemer Dan » Mon Dec 20, 2010 3:54 pm

I've said it before:

That weird and crazy alternate universe where everything is backwards and freaked out.... we're living in it.

I'd be more impressed if she was the one racing the bike, but I'll take what I can get.
They swore it was the correct one, but swearing doesn't make a sprocket fit where it doesn't want to. --WeAintFoundShit

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guitargeek
Master Metric Necromancer
Location: East Goatfuck, Oklahoma
Contact:

Post by guitargeek » Mon Dec 20, 2010 4:50 pm

Lest we forget why the bitch is even famous in the first fucking place...

NSFW
Elitist, arrogant, intolerant, self-absorbed.
Midliferider wrote:Wish I could wipe this shit off my shoes but it's everywhere I walk. Dang.
Pattio wrote:Never forget, as you enjoy the high road of tolerance, that it is those of us doing the hard work of intolerance who make it possible for you to shine.
xtian wrote:Sticking feathers up your butt does not make you a chicken

roadmissile
Chief Marketing Schwaggerizer
Location: CO

Post by roadmissile » Mon Dec 20, 2010 5:07 pm

guitargeek wrote:Lest we forget why the bitch is even famous in the first fucking place...

NSFW
Nothing warms the cockles like rich people fucking.

/RM
/Speed is our religion.

"If requests are an option, I'd like to be hit by a beautiful and highly trained nurse, driving a marshmallow. Naked. And then she would buy me an ice cream." - Rev

goose
Pâté de Foie Gras
Location: Foggy Peninsula West of Oakland and South of Marin

Post by goose » Mon Dec 20, 2010 5:34 pm

roadmissile wrote:
Jaeger wrote:She may be a vapid, overpriced media whore
And while I'm in no hurry to paint my bike like that it doesn't even crack the top ten in terms of bad graphics.

I'm going with win-win-win as well, although I've just noticed as I'm writing this the pic in the topic review is cutting the top of that picture off at around her elbows :P

Boobies!

/RM
Indeed, it sort of has a "Barbie Knievel" paint scheme. The poor guy who has to wear the matching leathers . . . . better win!
Drink triples til you're seeing double, feeling single, and looking for trouble! -Johnny Nitro, RIP

"British bikes of that era are made of a special alloy known as Brittainium. It is the only metal known to be able to rust even when fully submerged in oil. It also corrodes microscopic passages through itself whenever it makes contact with any known gasketing material." - AZ Rider

Re: Husaberg Build: "I pictured it more like the heroin addicted ex that keeps turning up, the bleeding you dry, breaking your heart, and crushing your soul, but you keep taking her back because it's the most fun ride you've ever had..." Bo-9

roadmissile
Chief Marketing Schwaggerizer
Location: CO

Post by roadmissile » Mon Dec 20, 2010 5:39 pm

goose wrote:Indeed, it sort of has a "Barbie Knievel" paint scheme. The poor guy who has to wear the matching leathers . . . . better win!
It could be a female rider too, although I'm not too proud to say I'd wear a set of leathers that match that if I got to ride professionally.

/RM
/Speed is our religion.

"If requests are an option, I'd like to be hit by a beautiful and highly trained nurse, driving a marshmallow. Naked. And then she would buy me an ice cream." - Rev

dozer
Hammer Time
Location: umbc
Contact:

Post by dozer » Mon Dec 20, 2010 7:15 pm

the ULTIMATE combination of titties and motorcycles, and STILL there are people who poo poo it. wtf.
"All you lazy bastards, you don't build no castles!"
-Jim Bishop.
Sisyphus wrote: If, on the other hand, a full-on revolution starts within one year, you will provide me your mailing address and I will send you the balsa wood box for you to eat. Provided I haven't already eaten it. In which case I will send you an object of equal or lesser value that hasn't been eaten, provided it is as edible as balsa and is of nearly equvalent volume (empty).

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Jaeger
Baron von Scrapple
Location: NoVA
Contact:

Post by Jaeger » Mon Dec 20, 2010 7:25 pm

roadmissile wrote: Nothing warms the cockles like rich people fucking.
Maybe the sub-cockles, maybe even the colon...

--Jaeger
Bigshankhank wrote:The world is a fucking wreck, but there is still sunshine in some places. Go outside and look for it.
<<NON ERRO>>
2018 Indian Scout -- "Lilah"

roadmissile
Chief Marketing Schwaggerizer
Location: CO

Post by roadmissile » Mon Dec 20, 2010 7:40 pm

Jaeger wrote:Maybe the sub-cockles, maybe even the colon...

--Jaeger
Sounds like maybe you've gotta go out and have fun at someone else's expense.

/RM
/Speed is our religion.

"If requests are an option, I'd like to be hit by a beautiful and highly trained nurse, driving a marshmallow. Naked. And then she would buy me an ice cream." - Rev

stiles
Ayatollah of Mayhem
Location: Mid Atlantic

Post by stiles » Mon Dec 20, 2010 7:50 pm

Jaeger wrote:
roadmissile wrote: Nothing warms the cockles like rich people fucking.
Maybe the sub-cockles, maybe even the colon...

--Jaeger

maybe even the spleen
"If we cannot be free, we can at least be cheap" - Frank Zappa

stiles
Ayatollah of Mayhem
Location: Mid Atlantic

Post by stiles » Mon Dec 20, 2010 7:53 pm

12ci wrote:
Jaeger wrote:
Pattio wrote:I also note that I was only able to type this after I had obscured the picture. My first draft of this was 'boobies'.
I'm glad someone said it. She may be a vapid, overpriced media whore, but goddamn, she does sport some pretty impressive hypno-titties.

--Jaeger
i was wondering if they were/are really hers, or photoshop...
They had better look damn impressive, she paid enough for them.

Also, I'm going for win-win. It's ridiculous, but why not? Hell, I'm glad it's so ridiculous. Maximum entertainment/gawk/WTF? value without any expectation to win what-so-fuckingever.

This is a mastery of artfully lowered expectations and not-so-artfully raised PR boners from the vapid-rich and the media that slavers over them 24/7.
"If we cannot be free, we can at least be cheap" - Frank Zappa

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xtian
Le coureur de lames chasse Tinti...
Location: belgium
Contact:

Post by xtian » Mon Dec 20, 2010 9:54 pm

<object width="640" height="390"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/Awtv3XBAuWQ&hl ... ram><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"></param><param name="allowScriptAccess" value="always"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/Awtv3XBAuWQ&hl ... &version=3" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowfullscreen="true" allowScriptAccess="always" width="640" height="390"></embed></object>
I'm not really from around here.

rolly
Tim Horton hears a Who?
Location: Greater Trauma Area
Contact:

Post by rolly » Mon Dec 20, 2010 10:06 pm

Man, how uncomfortable do those kids look with Paris' arms around them. Doesn't bode well for their racing performance.

roadmissile
Chief Marketing Schwaggerizer
Location: CO

Post by roadmissile » Tue Dec 21, 2010 12:02 am

rolly wrote:Man, how uncomfortable do those kids look with Paris' arms around them. Doesn't bode well for their racing performance.
Well imagine scoring a ride on that bike when you're what? Maybe twelve? And then a famous girl is touching you while people are taking about a million photos and all you're concentrating on is hiding your boner.

/RM
/Speed is our religion.

"If requests are an option, I'd like to be hit by a beautiful and highly trained nurse, driving a marshmallow. Naked. And then she would buy me an ice cream." - Rev

Ames
Megachiroptera Übermench
Location: Denver, CO in MY OWN DAMN HOUSE!
Contact:

Post by Ames » Tue Dec 21, 2010 12:16 am

I'm sorry, all I think about when I see the vapid twat is the tremendous waste of opportunity she personifies. All of that money and opportunity in her family, the best colleges an institutions of academia available to her and she's most notable for being a vacuous bimbette party fuck-toy.

Yeah, of course the tits are fake. What else would she see worth spending her money on?
Cheers,
Ames.
Whatever doesn't kill you, only makes you...stranger!
Quid Ita Serius?
You never know how much you appreciate your civil liberties until they've been violated.

WeAintFoundShit
Ayatollah of Mayhem
Location: Davis

Post by WeAintFoundShit » Tue Dec 21, 2010 12:17 am

The real news here is that Sergio Gadea is getting punted back to 125 GP from Moto2.

Oh wait... And Boobies. Those are always, always news. Even if you have seen those particular ones before.
"The grip on the right is the fun regulator." -Donny Greene

I crash a lot.

motorpsycho67
Double-dip Diogenes
Location: City of Angels

Post by motorpsycho67 » Tue Dec 21, 2010 12:52 am

Yes, she's an annoying twat.

Yes, the cans are fake (which isn't my cup o' tea).

Is it bizarre?

Yes.


Ridiculous for the win.
'75 Honda CB400F
'82 Kawalski GPz750
etc.

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