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April Fool's day is Friday.

A forum for the off topic stuff. Everything from religion to philosophy to sex to humor (see why it used to be called Buggery?). All manner of rude psychological abuse is welcome and encouraged.
Post Reply
rc26
The Devil's Banana
Location: Va.

April Fool's day is Friday.

Post by rc26 » Tue Mar 29, 2011 7:09 am

Be sure to get your pranks ready.


"I reject your reality and substitute my own" - Stole it.

Metalredneck
Largely Uncontroversial

Post by Metalredneck » Tue Mar 29, 2011 7:19 am

Must...buy...Superglue!
Done.

User avatar
Jonny
Sausage Pirate
Location: Anakie Rd.

Post by Jonny » Tue Mar 29, 2011 8:41 am

BULLSHIT!!!

rc26
The Devil's Banana
Location: Va.

Post by rc26 » Thu Mar 31, 2011 5:40 am

I've always wanted to take a friend's car or bike. Let them think it was stolen. If that went wrong...like them reporting it stolen to the police, it could get ugly, people might go to jail over a harmless prank. Therefore, I never followed through with it.

I did jack up a friend's car once while they were away. Just so that it was barely off the ground with the rear axle resting on wood blocks. They got in and didn't notice anything abnormal, put it in gear it wouldn't go anywhere.
Last edited by rc26 on Thu Mar 31, 2011 7:21 am, edited 1 time in total.
"I reject your reality and substitute my own" - Stole it.

rolly
Tim Horton hears a Who?
Location: Greater Trauma Area
Contact:

Post by rolly » Thu Mar 31, 2011 5:56 am

Reporting it to the police? Jail? I would set you on fire.

User avatar
xtian
Le coureur de lames chasse Tinti...
Location: belgium
Contact:

Post by xtian » Thu Mar 31, 2011 6:26 am

It's like valentine day, you don't have to do it on april 1rst if you're pulling bullshit every other day of the year.
I'm not really from around here.

rolly
Tim Horton hears a Who?
Location: Greater Trauma Area
Contact:

Post by rolly » Thu Mar 31, 2011 6:43 am

To be clear, I mean I would set you on fire after I found out it was your fucked up idea of a joke, and laugh at your pain just the same as you laughed at mine over the stolen bike.

User avatar
thrasherbill
Burninator of the Dirt Oval
Location: The Ranch, Langley, B.C. eh
Contact:

Post by thrasherbill » Thu Mar 31, 2011 8:22 am

rolly wrote:Reporting it to the police? Jail? I would set you on fire.
I used to work in a warehouse where some of the guys thought it was funny to plastic wrap your car on your birthday. At the time I was driving my old show Bug with a $16,000 paint job on it. I told them if they so much as breathed on my car they would all suffer a slow and painful near death experience. My birthday passed uneventfully that year. :mrgreen:
KZ's are for assholes... - scumbag
Well, if KZ riders are assholes, and CB riders are fucktards, I guess Buell riders can forthwith be known as cunts. - guitargeek
I cannot brain today, I have the dumb. - piccini9
In other news, I want to have sex with your bike. - Beemer Dan
A beard, it's like tits for your face. - MagnusTheBuilder

Gahread
Maltov Rattlecan
Location: Eschenbach, Germany
Contact:

Post by Gahread » Sat Apr 02, 2011 2:26 am

Friday was... interesting. I brought one of my young soldiers to his sergeant promotion board after several weeks of intense studying. He did alright, managed to keep his cool MUCH better than most people can during the hour-long grilling session.

Then I escorted in two other troops for their own promotion boards, since their respective sergeants were unavailable. They too managed to deliver a satisfactory performance under extreme stress, but realized they could have done better if they hadn't gotten nervous (which is the whole point).

After three hours of that, we all got called back into the conference room, where the sergeant major and all the senior NCOs spent ten minutes describing how all of them had apparently wasted their evenings and weekends for the past month, because nobody came in acting like they actually wanted to be promoted today. Since none of the attendees cared, they could come back when they actually gave a damn, board adjourned.

Three shellshocked soldiers came to attention and prepared to depart, when the sergeant major asked what day it was.

Sonsabitches.

stiles
Ayatollah of Mayhem
Location: Mid Atlantic

Post by stiles » Sat Apr 02, 2011 5:49 am

thrasherbill wrote:
rolly wrote:Reporting it to the police? Jail? I would set you on fire.
I used to work in a warehouse where some of the guys thought it was funny to plastic wrap your car on your birthday. At the time I was driving my old show Bug with a $16,000 paint job on it. I told them if they so much as breathed on my car they would all suffer a slow and painful near death experience. My birthday passed uneventfully that year. :mrgreen:
The lot lizard at Saturn was a young buck who was convinced he was both clever and funny. He decided to prank us mechanics regularly, which we tolerated until he put grease under the drawer releases of our toolboxes. I then re-keyed his car during his bathroom break. Doors, trunk, ignition, all of them.

Then he escalated and put grease in the toes of our work boots. It was summertime; his sunroof was always open to vent a few inches. I collected enough styrofoam packing peanuts to fill the bed of my truck, crushed them down a bit to make smaller bits and filled his car to the roof while he was on lunch break.

We then shrink wrapped the car.

He got the point. :idea: No more shenanigans.

Don't fuck with four bored master techs. :P
"If we cannot be free, we can at least be cheap" - Frank Zappa

dozer
Hammer Time
Location: umbc
Contact:

Post by dozer » Sat Apr 02, 2011 8:48 am

Gahread wrote:Friday was... interesting. I brought one of my young soldiers to his sergeant promotion board after several weeks of intense studying. He did alright, managed to keep his cool MUCH better than most people can during the hour-long grilling session.

Then I escorted in two other troops for their own promotion boards, since their respective sergeants were unavailable. They too managed to deliver a satisfactory performance under extreme stress, but realized they could have done better if they hadn't gotten nervous (which is the whole point).

After three hours of that, we all got called back into the conference room, where the sergeant major and all the senior NCOs spent ten minutes describing how all of them had apparently wasted their evenings and weekends for the past month, because nobody came in acting like they actually wanted to be promoted today. Since none of the attendees cared, they could come back when they actually gave a damn, board adjourned.

Three shellshocked soldiers came to attention and prepared to depart, when the sergeant major asked what day it was.

Sonsabitches.
nice.
"All you lazy bastards, you don't build no castles!"
-Jim Bishop.
Sisyphus wrote: If, on the other hand, a full-on revolution starts within one year, you will provide me your mailing address and I will send you the balsa wood box for you to eat. Provided I haven't already eaten it. In which case I will send you an object of equal or lesser value that hasn't been eaten, provided it is as edible as balsa and is of nearly equvalent volume (empty).

tumbler
The Business
Location: Carmichaels, PA
Contact:

Post by tumbler » Sat Apr 02, 2011 9:00 pm

stiles wrote:
thrasherbill wrote:
rolly wrote:Reporting it to the police? Jail? I would set you on fire.
I used to work in a warehouse where some of the guys thought it was funny to plastic wrap your car on your birthday. At the time I was driving my old show Bug with a $16,000 paint job on it. I told them if they so much as breathed on my car they would all suffer a slow and painful near death experience. My birthday passed uneventfully that year. :mrgreen:
The lot lizard at Saturn was a young buck who was convinced he was both clever and funny. He decided to prank us mechanics regularly, which we tolerated until he put grease under the drawer releases of our toolboxes. I then re-keyed his car during his bathroom break. Doors, trunk, ignition, all of them.

Then he escalated and put grease in the toes of our work boots. It was summertime; his sunroof was always open to vent a few inches. I collected enough styrofoam packing peanuts to fill the bed of my truck, crushed them down a bit to make smaller bits and filled his car to the roof while he was on lunch break.

We then shrink wrapped the car.

He got the point. :idea: No more shenanigans.

Don't fuck with four bored master techs. :P

isn't a "lot lizard" a name truckers use for prostitutes? :)

User avatar
Bigshankhank
Fully Autonomous Cock-Puncher
Location: Exiled to Living in a Van Down By The River
Contact:

Post by Bigshankhank » Sun Apr 03, 2011 4:16 am

tumbler wrote:
isn't a "lot lizard" a name truckers use for prostitutes? :)
Apparently they have them at Saturn dealerships, also. Correction, "HAD".
It's time for Humankind to ditch the imaginary friends of our species' childhood and grow the fuck up.
-Davros

"Lasse mich deine Seele dem Herrscher der Finsternis opfern"

Let me sacrifice your soul to the ruler of darkness

Always carry a bottle of whiskey when you travel in case of a snakebite. Futhermore, always carry a small snake.

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