What do you do for a living?

piccini9 · Post by **piccini9** » Sun Sep 25, 2011 10:45 am

I know this topic has come up here before, but more as a serious question about where all our fellow Ootmiks line up in the employment game.
In this case I'm soliciting ideas for an answer to this question. Bon Vivant/Ne'er Do Well/Carpenter/House Painter/Sculptor/Easel Painter/ Handyman/Street Corner Preacher, just doesn't come trippingly off the tongue.

Recently, I've told people that I'm an Astrophysicist, and also a Hedge Fund MAnager. Sometimes I want to just say, "Me? Oh, mostly I just mind my own business, how about you?" or, "I can't talk about my work, WHAT DO YOU DO?"

Sometimes it's just polite small talk I know, but sometimes it just feels like prying, annoying, maneouvering, and it pisses me off.

Any suggestions?

Post by **DerGolgo** » Sun Sep 25, 2011 11:21 am

VP for broadcast standards & practices for the Dumont Network.

PR rep for the National Lawn-Darts League.

Combat Accountant for a private military contractor.

Viking funeral-home pyrotechnician.

Or:
"Haha, very funny, as if you don't know. You're with the Post? The Times? You can tell your editor you'll get nothing out of me! And neither will congress!"

rolly · Post by **rolly** » Sun Sep 25, 2011 11:30 am

Lately my answer is "I pick things up, and put things down," sometimes in a caveman voice.

motorpsycho67 · Post by **motorpsycho67** » Sun Sep 25, 2011 11:56 am

Yeah, I don't usually like to answer that question, so I generally blurt out whatever pops into my head...... "Head Fig Newton Inspector for Nabisco", "Official Mirth Maker for Dean Witter", "Soup Spoon Deglazer for Campbell's", "Travelling Toilet Installer"....

I don't like to be judged by my occupation

guitargeek · Post by **guitargeek** » Sun Sep 25, 2011 12:04 pm

Shade Tree Mad Scientist

xtian · Post by **xtian** » Sun Sep 25, 2011 12:17 pm

"international playboy, but lately ... with the state of the economy ..."

sun rat · Post by **sun rat** » Sun Sep 25, 2011 12:21 pm

" discussing what i do is a violation of my contract"...

rc26 · Post by **rc26** » Sun Sep 25, 2011 12:58 pm

I just tell people that I'm their mother's pimp.

Ames · Post by **Ames** » Sun Sep 25, 2011 1:49 pm

"Me? Oh, I subvert the minds of America's youths."
"My attorney has advised me not to discuss this until after we get the charges dismissed."
"Unless you know the safeword, my mistress has told me not to tell anyone."
"I work in the translation department for SETI."
"Me? Oh, I'm a freelance proctologist. Is there something I could give you a hand with?" (Bonus points if you can say the second part while snapping on a latex glove.)
"I'm sorry. The Voices said you can't be trusted with that."
"Technomage."

Sisyphus · Post by **Sisyphus** » Sun Sep 25, 2011 1:58 pm

Styrofoamologist.

Rench · Post by **Rench** » Sun Sep 25, 2011 5:32 pm

I start with "a dad," as I spend more hours doing that than anything else. Also my most important job.

I've read about Europe, France, specifically I believe, where it's completely normal and public to discuss with new acquaintences the most intimate details of ones personal and love-life even, but asking about proffession is uncouthe. A combination of sniffing out your money situation, along with confusing a person for a profession. Of course, in America, we do the latter all the time. My job is particularly all-consuming sometimes, but I try to take the good parts and leave the rest at the punch-clock.

-Rench

Zim · Post by **Zim** » Sun Sep 25, 2011 6:10 pm

Nothing.

calamari kid · Post by **calamari kid** » Sun Sep 25, 2011 6:27 pm

Cat juggler

motorpsycho67 · Post by **motorpsycho67** » Sun Sep 25, 2011 6:41 pm

Rench wrote: but asking about profession is uncouth.

Correct

As I believe it should be here

mtne · Post by **mtne** » Sun Sep 25, 2011 8:52 pm

As little as possible.

Whatever I feel like.

The Shifty Jesus · Post by **The Shifty Jesus** » Sun Sep 25, 2011 8:56 pm

Usually when I try and explain what I do, it's even more confusing to people than making something up.

roadmissile · Post by **roadmissile** » Sun Sep 25, 2011 10:05 pm

I'm a pet psychiatrist.

I sell couch insurance.

I test market positive thinking.

I lead a weekend men's group, we specialize in ritual killings.

/RM

Sisyphus · Post by **Sisyphus** » Mon Sep 26, 2011 3:45 am

Sisyphus wrote:Styrofoamologist.

I usually don't tell people because they wouldn't understand anyway and I hate explaining myself for the sake of small talk. It's a waste of time and they don't really care. If pressed I'll say, "I work on boats." And let them fill in the blanks.

Rock · Post by **Rock** » Mon Sep 26, 2011 5:30 am

"Are you writing a fucking book?"
"Underway torpedo tech"
"Inflight missle tech"
"You know the guy in that movie that does really cool stuff? yeah not that"
"Fuck you"
"Eat my ass"
"What"
"What do you do"

and several other responses that would offend our multitude of screaming libs on the board.... especially the cat lovers....

goose · Post by **goose** » Mon Sep 26, 2011 6:47 am

for a living: I ride motorcycles, read, drink beer, eat good food, eat bad food, play guitar, have fun whenever I can.

What's cutting all this short is my job as a janitor. I am employed to clean up people's messy fuck ups.

Jaeger · Post by **Jaeger** » Mon Sep 26, 2011 7:06 am

I'm a Professional Bullshit Artist and Cat Herder.

--Jaeger

Rabbit_Fighter · Post by **Rabbit_Fighter** » Mon Sep 26, 2011 9:29 am

I spend the majority of my waking hours at work. It doesn't define who I am, but it is a huge part of my life. People are welcome to ask.

I sometimes ask people what they do for a living, because I find it interesting. I don't care if its blue collar, white collar, creative, technical, mind numbing or whatever. I have a lot of respect for all kinds of work and am happy to hear about it (if I'm interested in getting to know that person). If the person isn't interested in talking about it, I move on.

If people judge others based on what they do for a living, they are probably already judging you based on your attire, the color of your skin, and any number of things. And frankly, that's unavoidable and fine. If somebody doesn't respect me or find me interesting because of my job, then I could give a shit.

What do I do for a living? I am a Functional Analyst and work in software development for a large digital media company.

I've been a technical manager, receptionist, bartender, bouncer, bank teller, pump jockey (back when full service gasoline existed), contracts administrator, and just unemployed. I've never minded when people ask, but I haven't always like the way they treated my response.

WeAintFoundShit · Post by **WeAintFoundShit** » Mon Sep 26, 2011 10:18 am

Usually I find that, when people are asking the question "What do you do for a living?" they usually just phrase it as "What do you do?"
When asked "What do you do?" I always list hobbies and passions.

I ask people "What do you do?" all of the time. They always tell me what their job is and unless it's something that seems really passionate to them, I always correct them and say "Yeah, but what do you DO? What do you do that makes you who you are?"

I try to plant little mental seeds like that whenever I can.

Metalredneck · Post by **Metalredneck** » Mon Sep 26, 2011 3:32 pm

Fuck off.

MagnusTheBuilder · Post by **MagnusTheBuilder** » Mon Sep 26, 2011 3:44 pm

I've discovered that people stop asking you questions, and actually they stop speaking to you and generally run away, when they begin asking you questions you don't want to answer and you start emitting a very loud high pitched, "BeeeeeEEEEEEEEeeeeeeeeeeeeEEEEEEEEEEEEEEeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeP!!!;

If necessary, stop to take a breath. If they begin talking again, start making the noise again.

sun rat · Post by **sun rat** » Mon Sep 26, 2011 6:18 pm

what do i do? i spend my evenings driving around trying to run over every snake i see in the road.

Jonny · Post by **Jonny** » Mon Sep 26, 2011 6:52 pm

Aparently I'm in the olive oil business.

sun rat · Post by **sun rat** » Mon Sep 26, 2011 7:01 pm

Jonny wrote:Aparently I'm in the olive oil business.

YAY!
congratulations!

Toad · Post by **Toad** » Mon Sep 26, 2011 7:11 pm

This month, Imma mechanic.

stiles · Post by **stiles** » Mon Sep 26, 2011 10:36 pm

bon vivant and avid nudist, thanks for asking!

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What do you do for a living?

What do you do for a living?