Ever have that day where nothing is going quite right, in fact, some things are just fucked up. Work is difficult and you’re not sure there is going to be any in the very near future? Bills piling up, you’re not where you though you should be, and so on?
I was having one of those days today. Last couple of days I’ve been dealing with some goofy matters that are frustrating. I’ll spare you the details, but it’s the stuff that impedes any forward momentum. The one step forward two steps back type of things.
Then it all changed. I was walking back to the office after picking up some lunch and my phone started ringing. A friend of mine that I hadn’t heard from in awhile. Usually, this means someone needs some free legal advice so I waffle with respect to answering the call. Got enough on my plate for today. I answer it anyway.
My friend’s 15 year old daughter took her own life.
Suddenly, nothing else seemed to matter. I have nothing to say. An odd black wall in my head with respect to how to deal with this call. I’m in my office right now, writing this and just numb. I simply cannot imagine the pain my friend is facing. In a few hours I’m heading over to his house certain to find that the universe can be awfully fucking cruel. Perspective indeed, I feel like a bitch for even thinking I have problems.
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Because the board got shutdown again because of a load of database, I had to fettle with the settings again.
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All I can do it button the hatches, and tighten up a few things. Such as time limits on how long you may take to compose a post and hit Debauch! As of 24/01/10, I've set that at 30 minutes for now.
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Perspective
-
goose
- Pâté de Foie Gras
- Location: Foggy Peninsula West of Oakland and South of Marin
Perspective
Drink triples til you're seeing double, feeling single, and looking for trouble! -Johnny Nitro, RIP
"British bikes of that era are made of a special alloy known as Brittainium. It is the only metal known to be able to rust even when fully submerged in oil. It also corrodes microscopic passages through itself whenever it makes contact with any known gasketing material." - AZ Rider
Re: Husaberg Build: "I pictured it more like the heroin addicted ex that keeps turning up, the bleeding you dry, breaking your heart, and crushing your soul, but you keep taking her back because it's the most fun ride you've ever had..." Bo-9
"British bikes of that era are made of a special alloy known as Brittainium. It is the only metal known to be able to rust even when fully submerged in oil. It also corrodes microscopic passages through itself whenever it makes contact with any known gasketing material." - AZ Rider
Re: Husaberg Build: "I pictured it more like the heroin addicted ex that keeps turning up, the bleeding you dry, breaking your heart, and crushing your soul, but you keep taking her back because it's the most fun ride you've ever had..." Bo-9
-
WeAintFoundShit
- Ayatollah of Mayhem
- Location: Davis
-
Rabbit_Fighter
- Keeper of the Lava
- Location: Seattle (Wedgwood)
Even at the this layer of removal, that makes me ache inside.
Good luck to you as you try and help your friend through this.
Take care.
Good luck to you as you try and help your friend through this.
Take care.
"no.
motorcycle the finality not is
motorcycle merely medium to achieve action of riding
motorcycle tool to bend space and time and overcome your own limitations as a mortal
riding more important than medium
spirit by object cannot be beaten."
motorcycle the finality not is
motorcycle merely medium to achieve action of riding
motorcycle tool to bend space and time and overcome your own limitations as a mortal
riding more important than medium
spirit by object cannot be beaten."
-
WeAintFoundShit
- Ayatollah of Mayhem
- Location: Davis
-
MagnusTheBuilder
- Arbiter of Beard
- Location: Denver, CO
- Contact:
Ditto to the above.
Nothing but rough waters ahead for everyone involved. Hopefully his marriage will survive it. With the big S there is a lot of blame that gets thrown around by the survivors and questions that nobody can answer.
Good luck man. This is never a good thing to hear.
Nothing but rough waters ahead for everyone involved. Hopefully his marriage will survive it. With the big S there is a lot of blame that gets thrown around by the survivors and questions that nobody can answer.
Good luck man. This is never a good thing to hear.
-- The Mag
2003 Kawasaki Vulcan 1500 Classic
2017 Chevy Silverado
1970 Chevelle SS
1951 Chevy Custom
"He attacked everything in life with a mix of extraordinary genius and naive incompetence, and it was often difficult to tell which was which." --Douglas Adams
2003 Kawasaki Vulcan 1500 Classic
2017 Chevy Silverado
1970 Chevelle SS
1951 Chevy Custom
"He attacked everything in life with a mix of extraordinary genius and naive incompetence, and it was often difficult to tell which was which." --Douglas Adams
-
Sisyphus
- Rigging the Ancient Mariner
- Location: The Muckworks
- Contact:
That's hard.
Even so, while children can be your worst fears and your greatest hopes all rolled into one, they always will be better understood by their own parents moreso than anyone else. Your friend will have some dealing to do, but people are very resilient. Do the best you can, help with what you can to the best of your abilities and help him/her through this. It will be a long road, so be prepared for that.
I frequently see strangers and am overwhelmed with the certainty that I know nothing about them. People carry a lot of stuff around, and you'd never know it.
Good luck; sorry to hear this.
Even so, while children can be your worst fears and your greatest hopes all rolled into one, they always will be better understood by their own parents moreso than anyone else. Your friend will have some dealing to do, but people are very resilient. Do the best you can, help with what you can to the best of your abilities and help him/her through this. It will be a long road, so be prepared for that.
I frequently see strangers and am overwhelmed with the certainty that I know nothing about them. People carry a lot of stuff around, and you'd never know it.
Good luck; sorry to hear this.
Sent from my POS laptop plugged into the wall
-
Vitiare
- Adhuc Homo Novus
- Location: Austin, TX
There is nothing that you can say or do that is going to make them feel any less destroyed inside. All you can do is let them know that you care and that you're sorry.
And Im really sorry that you have to face this. But life has an interesting way of showing you perspective, doesnt it?
And I know its trite, but if there is anything any of us can do for YOU, just shout it out.
And Im really sorry that you have to face this. But life has an interesting way of showing you perspective, doesnt it?
And I know its trite, but if there is anything any of us can do for YOU, just shout it out.
"If loud pipes save lives, imagine what training and proper gear could do."
-
guitargeek
- Master Metric Necromancer
- Location: East Goatfuck, Oklahoma
- Contact:
What they said.
Do what you can for your friends, but look after yourself, too.
Do what you can for your friends, but look after yourself, too.
Elitist, arrogant, intolerant, self-absorbed.
Midliferider wrote:Wish I could wipe this shit off my shoes but it's everywhere I walk. Dang.
Pattio wrote:Never forget, as you enjoy the high road of tolerance, that it is those of us doing the hard work of intolerance who make it possible for you to shine.
xtian wrote:Sticking feathers up your butt does not make you a chicken
-
Jaeger
- Baron von Scrapple
- Location: NoVA
- Contact:
Good luck, Brothah Goose, and good luck to your friend.
I had front-row seats to that sort of situation before. There is nothing in my experience that is worse, more tragic, more painful, or more emotionally damaging. If there is something worse, I don't want to know about it.
Holler if you need an ear, you know how to find me and you know the deal.
And yes, "perspective" indeed.
--Jaeger
I had front-row seats to that sort of situation before. There is nothing in my experience that is worse, more tragic, more painful, or more emotionally damaging. If there is something worse, I don't want to know about it.
Holler if you need an ear, you know how to find me and you know the deal.
And yes, "perspective" indeed.
--Jaeger
<<NON ERRO>>Bigshankhank wrote:The world is a fucking wreck, but there is still sunshine in some places. Go outside and look for it.
2018 Indian Scout -- "Lilah"
-
goose
- Pâté de Foie Gras
- Location: Foggy Peninsula West of Oakland and South of Marin
hey guys, i luvs you all. But really, i'm not hurt'n. Just attempting to empathize with a friend who is struggling more than anyone can know (there's much more to this man than I feel comfortable talking about). By anyone I totally include myself. I've had friends kill themselves, been murdered, and the deadpool in my life is pretty fucking deep, the shallow end was filled long ago.
Still, I have never lost a child by their own hand. Any of you that have been through this, oh fuck, I have no words just admiration that you move forward. Not sure I could.
Anyway, I only shared the story due to its impact on me. Yes, I have a bowling ball in my stomach, but it's just because that's what caring sometimes does. I'll wake up tomorrow and go to work, pay bills, love, hate, like, care, not care, make choices, etc. At the end of the day, I'll be fucking grateful that no matter how bad things may seem, a very good person has it so much worse (as do many others).
Really, this is a great time to tell people you care, you love, you need, you hurt, you appreciate . . . .etc. Corny? you bet! So fucking what. If I hadnt lost my phone last week (along with the numbers) all of you fuckers that I have a number for would be getting a call and hearing me blather on about how grateful I am to have known (err know) you.
I think it was Sisyphus who said something to the effect that it's good to think for a moment about the reality that everyone has a terrible story, event, personal tragedy in their lives that is worthy of taking into account when you're dealing with others (yeah, bad paraphrase and perhaps mis-cited, but I've been crying [a gawdamn lot] and my head isn't all there - all apoligies if i missed both).
I've been through a fair amount of shit, but I simply can't imagine this. I have no kids and that context is wholly unapproachable by me despite my analytical thought that I understand. I don't understand fuck!
I've sat and held a big grown man, who already had lost what we thought was everything (yes, "we"), who has battled cancer for for years because he needed to take care of his babies without throwing in the towel even if everyone urged him to do so, and so much more while crying. We've never agreed on anything except our mutual respect. This man is a fucking warrior of epic proportions - yet, nobody is this strong. I don't think I have every cried so much in my life.
I've been to a lot of funerals. You don't go for the dead, you go for the living. I tried to keep that in mind tonight. Really, I did. I'm here for the living I told myself. over. and over and over again. I have never witnessed such pain. never.
I just rode through an empty san francisco, fighting back tears yet trying to appreciate how wonderful (even a fucked up) life is. Fucking selfish? Yeah, it feels like it, and it is. There's no fix to something like this. No reason that makes sense. No cause and effect that perfects the equation. It's . . . it is hell. My other selfish and pathetic thought, "man am i glad it's not me."
Please, take amount and appreciate your life. I know I appreciate your life, and my own, a whole lot more tonight. Thank you all!
Godspeed Mac! I hope you have put your demons to rest and are at peace. You were loved by so many!
Still, I have never lost a child by their own hand. Any of you that have been through this, oh fuck, I have no words just admiration that you move forward. Not sure I could.
Anyway, I only shared the story due to its impact on me. Yes, I have a bowling ball in my stomach, but it's just because that's what caring sometimes does. I'll wake up tomorrow and go to work, pay bills, love, hate, like, care, not care, make choices, etc. At the end of the day, I'll be fucking grateful that no matter how bad things may seem, a very good person has it so much worse (as do many others).
Really, this is a great time to tell people you care, you love, you need, you hurt, you appreciate . . . .etc. Corny? you bet! So fucking what. If I hadnt lost my phone last week (along with the numbers) all of you fuckers that I have a number for would be getting a call and hearing me blather on about how grateful I am to have known (err know) you.
I think it was Sisyphus who said something to the effect that it's good to think for a moment about the reality that everyone has a terrible story, event, personal tragedy in their lives that is worthy of taking into account when you're dealing with others (yeah, bad paraphrase and perhaps mis-cited, but I've been crying [a gawdamn lot] and my head isn't all there - all apoligies if i missed both).
I've been through a fair amount of shit, but I simply can't imagine this. I have no kids and that context is wholly unapproachable by me despite my analytical thought that I understand. I don't understand fuck!
I've sat and held a big grown man, who already had lost what we thought was everything (yes, "we"), who has battled cancer for for years because he needed to take care of his babies without throwing in the towel even if everyone urged him to do so, and so much more while crying. We've never agreed on anything except our mutual respect. This man is a fucking warrior of epic proportions - yet, nobody is this strong. I don't think I have every cried so much in my life.
I've been to a lot of funerals. You don't go for the dead, you go for the living. I tried to keep that in mind tonight. Really, I did. I'm here for the living I told myself. over. and over and over again. I have never witnessed such pain. never.
I just rode through an empty san francisco, fighting back tears yet trying to appreciate how wonderful (even a fucked up) life is. Fucking selfish? Yeah, it feels like it, and it is. There's no fix to something like this. No reason that makes sense. No cause and effect that perfects the equation. It's . . . it is hell. My other selfish and pathetic thought, "man am i glad it's not me."
Please, take amount and appreciate your life. I know I appreciate your life, and my own, a whole lot more tonight. Thank you all!
Godspeed Mac! I hope you have put your demons to rest and are at peace. You were loved by so many!
Drink triples til you're seeing double, feeling single, and looking for trouble! -Johnny Nitro, RIP
"British bikes of that era are made of a special alloy known as Brittainium. It is the only metal known to be able to rust even when fully submerged in oil. It also corrodes microscopic passages through itself whenever it makes contact with any known gasketing material." - AZ Rider
Re: Husaberg Build: "I pictured it more like the heroin addicted ex that keeps turning up, the bleeding you dry, breaking your heart, and crushing your soul, but you keep taking her back because it's the most fun ride you've ever had..." Bo-9
"British bikes of that era are made of a special alloy known as Brittainium. It is the only metal known to be able to rust even when fully submerged in oil. It also corrodes microscopic passages through itself whenever it makes contact with any known gasketing material." - AZ Rider
Re: Husaberg Build: "I pictured it more like the heroin addicted ex that keeps turning up, the bleeding you dry, breaking your heart, and crushing your soul, but you keep taking her back because it's the most fun ride you've ever had..." Bo-9
-
MoraleHazard
- Vatican Sex Kitten
- Location: Stamford, CT
Powerful post. Suicides make me very sad too and I do not even know the girl or her family. Goose, you have my prayers and very best wishes; for strength to help your friend and not to let it all hurt so much.
666(k) Retirement Plan of the Beast. Only offered by Dis Annuities.
____________
'91 EX500 (sold)
'04 R1150R
____________
It's like getting bitten by a radioactive horse and instead of getting a really large cock you turn into a brony.
____________
'91 EX500 (sold)
'04 R1150R
____________
It's like getting bitten by a radioactive horse and instead of getting a really large cock you turn into a brony.
-
DerGolgo
- Zaphod's Zeitgeist
- Location: Potato
Goose, I didn't read more than the first couple of paragraphs of your second post.
It looks to me like you're human. Thoroughly and utterlay imperfect human.
It sucks you're having a tough time, disaster befell a friend of yours are you now question your emotional reaction. But I personally know people who would have reacted quite differently.
You're a full human being. You have my sympathies.
It looks to me like you're human. Thoroughly and utterlay imperfect human.
It sucks you're having a tough time, disaster befell a friend of yours are you now question your emotional reaction. But I personally know people who would have reacted quite differently.
You're a full human being. You have my sympathies.
If there were absolutely anything to be afraid of, don't you think I would have worn pants?
I said I have a big stick.
I said I have a big stick.
-
Metalredneck
- Largely Uncontroversial