BMW M5 - The Ultimate

goose · Post by **goose** » Sun Mar 18, 2012 4:42 pm

Douchebag machine!

Ok, remember my post about exercising good judgment, turning the other cheek, thinking in the long term kinda stuff? Yes? Stop reading. Thiink I was full of it? Ok, read on!

So lil red douche canoe decides it's a good time to fuck with Mr. Motorcyclist on the 101. So be it, my bike is a single, the car is a v8. I know where I'm going and how much fun I'm going to have and none, that is, NONE of it is on the fucking 101. Douchebag, complete with the hipster hoodie (not quite a sweatshirt hoodie, some sorta artsy hoodie thingy, i'm not hip, so I can't help you here) literally does the lane check test on me, 3 fucking times. I totally throttle off just taking my time until the Marin/Stinson beach exit.

Now I'm in my fucking back yard. My highway 1. MY GAWDAMN ROAD BITCH! Ok, no really, i'm ok. I get through Marin, actually even stop for coffee so as to clear my head and calm down and get a lot of space away from these guys just in case.

Out on the 1, about 7 turns in, the ULTIMATE DRIVING MACHINE. Complete with Douche bags 1 and 2. I come out of the turn, hard on the exit (stop reading here if you have any respect for staying alive and making sound judgments), clear ahead, over the double yellow and pass burgundy trust funder like he parked it!

Oh, someone is not happy, but he clearly doesn't know where he is. Foot into the pedal, it's time to test the marketing of frau M5. Now, for those of you who have ridden this lovely stretch of road, it's a bikers road, not a car road. It's simply too tight and too narrow. Not my problem since I'm not in a car, so I thought.

So, these two assholes (undoubtedly encouraging each others idiocy) give chase. Overshooting every corner, overworking the brakes, tires and suspension. Under-driving the poor car and threatening to go airborn off a cliff at any moment. Should I care? Perhaps I should, but I don't. Fuck those guys, right?

UNTIL, another rider is heading back the other direction. OH FUCK, these guys are going to kill her. There is no doubt.

Slam on the front binders almost to stoppie. Rear brake slide to spin her around. Gas it up and pass the poor girl. She has got to think Im an asshole. Get out in front of her and I can see beemer idiots ahead all over the road (one turn away). I, point over and cut her off onto the shoulder staying inside her front wheel. Yes, she definitely wants me dead. (Bear in mind, this is all happening in about a 4 second envelope). Beemer guy comes round corner, all four wheels squeeling, over double yellow and off the road, 4 feet ahead of us. Car is bent and in a pile of fluids and steam about 14 feet below the road.

Yeah, I kinda feel responsible in a way for passing these guys and giving them a rabbit to chase. Car is toast. They appeared to be on "x" or another stimulant and are going to jail. I'm a bit shaken.

Krazy days. If you read this far, well, don't do as I do.

I do, however, regret the role I played in all of this. Everyone is alive and well, but it could have been so much worse. I think I need time off the bike for a bit. That was just stupid.

piccini9 · Post by **piccini9** » Sun Mar 18, 2012 5:02 pm

You passed on the double yellow. That's not a hanging offense is it?

motorpsycho67 · Post by **motorpsycho67** » Sun Mar 18, 2012 5:10 pm

Natural selection

Rock · Post by **Rock** » Sun Mar 18, 2012 5:18 pm

So how does this end?

Car broken, Chick on bike pissed at you...... did you stick around? did you shoo her off? were d1 and d2 actually cuffed?

I'm not passing judgement, I'm curious how it ended.

thack · Post by **thack** » Sun Mar 18, 2012 5:19 pm

bigger question, did you get her #, what was she riding, and did you get a pic?

goose · Post by **goose** » Sun Mar 18, 2012 5:25 pm

motorpsycho67 wrote:Natural selection

I think the issue for me is that I don't believe they would have been driving like complete fucking assholes had I not provoked it by passing them. They weren't going "stupid" fast until I did.

Now, I can own my own risk taking. The idea that I endangered that other rider, or any bicyclist, car driver, or anyone else by provoking these idiots is POOR JUDGMENT of the Nth degree.

When I stopped that girl (thought she was going to center punch me as her brakes were not like mine), she almost crashed. I'm not excusing the free will of these guys to make stupid driving decisions.

I'm also not excusing my own role in this. I hang this idea and belief that you should exercise good judgment, and in what, a week? I totally and irresponsibly make a bad one.

I think it's time to step back. Perhaps wrench a bit. Play some guitar. Read some books. I love riding, but I find myself making some poor decisions lately. Rock may be right. Perhaps I should start thinking of being "track-only". Unlikely, but sometimes you just need to get your shit together. Today showed me, I don't.

Edit:
No pic - I had to get the fuck out of there. But cops were on their way and, just gauging by the facial expressions I saw on the highway - Dialated pupils were in high order pre-crash. No doubt arrested.

Girl digits? No Way! When a car squeels off the road 4 - 10 feet in front of you after you basically got run off the road by an asshole - you get a strange "oh shit, my life almost ended" 300 mile stare.

Again, I didn't stick around. Probably should have, but didn't.

rolly · Post by **rolly** » Sun Mar 18, 2012 5:50 pm

1. All BMW drivers are hyperagressive assclownes. This has been empirically proven.
2. A lawyer would probably advise you not to post that story online

3. You can't really account for other people's moronitude, but…
4. Sometimes one does need to take a step back. Last year I found my riding was unconsciously expressing my fucked up internal state a little too well and I was unable to not ride like a fucking idiot most of the time, so I cut nonessential riding out.

calamari kid · Post by **calamari kid** » Sun Mar 18, 2012 6:03 pm

Dammit thack you beat me to it!

We're all subject to the red mist now and again. We're not evolved enough yet to completely put our animal nature behind us. Sounds like the d-bags would've ended up in that situation one way or another, driving loaded and beyond their abilities. If it had been some young squid instead of you, the girl or someone else might have been taken out. Be glad you're able to recognize your error instead of blindly mocking them. A track day or two might not be a bad idea, get some of that envelope pushing out of the way in a more controlled environment.

wzm · Post by **wzm** » Sun Mar 18, 2012 6:11 pm

I've had a similar "someone chased me and crashed" thing happen a few times, and it leaves you with a bit of a guilty conscience for a while. People are responsible for their own actions though, there is a good chance they would have driven like that anyhow, and it's a solid reminder to not be too much of a nut on public roads. It's a good thing they were in a car (which is usually the case) and from the sounds of things the only things hurt were the drivers pride and insurance premium.

motorpsycho67 · Post by **motorpsycho67** » Sun Mar 18, 2012 8:01 pm

calamari kid wrote:Sounds like the d-bags would've ended up in that situation one way or another, driving loaded and beyond their abilities. If it had been some young squid instead of you, the girl or someone else might have been taken out.

A-yup

UndertheGun · Post by **UndertheGun** » Sun Mar 18, 2012 8:29 pm

The Calamari Kid summed it up nicely.

You're reflecting and arriving at fairly sensible conclusions. Take a break. Go do something else enjoyable for a bit.

But, know that you're not the one who made any decisions that nearly killed someone. If anything, you were the one who saved the day and proved a positive point doing it.

xtian · Post by **xtian** » Sun Mar 18, 2012 11:02 pm

I'm really envious, I often had the chase part, never the crash ending.
But of course I strongly disapprove any hooliganism on open road

Jonny · Post by **Jonny** » Mon Mar 19, 2012 3:24 am

Goose, good deed done making sure the other rider was safe. Even though she probably thinks you're a prophetic, mad shit.

Sisyphus · Post by **Sisyphus** » Mon Mar 19, 2012 3:25 am

So glad I live in the relative sticks.

Pattio · Post by **Pattio** » Mon Mar 19, 2012 5:24 am

One) awesome story, thus, worth it.

Two) go acoustic. I know from experience that that foggy rock you live on is a place where it takes a strong set of legs and lungs to get around. You might still find yourself in a problematic relationship with your fellow road users from time to time. But you will be fucking ripped physically and saving money.

Scoff all you will at 'hipsters', they deserve it, but riding a fixed gear bike all over that foggy rock (not just up and down Valencia) is an extremely challenging, and rewarding, experience.

Third) and corollary to my point : One) the first): sooooo jealous.

kitkat · Post by **kitkat** » Mon Mar 19, 2012 6:37 am

Those guys did the world a favor by ditching their car. who knows how many other innocent targets were toodling along the opposite way up that road? Mayvbe they learned a lesson (tho I doubt it frankly) Good idea to lay low for awhile *because* these guys _did_ blame you for everything that happened (those types always do), can likely afford lawyers to legitimize the situational lies they will concoct towards their *complete* innocence--two of them one of you, you would likely come up with the short.

*They* c_h_o_s_e. It is *normal* for a bike to blink by cages in the twisties. What is *not* normal is for the passee to go all toontown and give maniacal chase. For them to play the fool is so totally on them. If they killed someone (that day or the next time they choose to be morons on the road with a ton & a half of steel for *what*ever reason--gf-job-ego kick) that would be *on them* as well. You were just in the vicinity.

As for the other rider, good on you for doing what you did (i wouldn't have, maybe a warning hand signal would have been it.). But she chose too--by being on a bike, for being on that road, for choosing to buy a ticket in the bike road lotto that day (which apparently she almost won if not for you). Any of us can be taken out by some in-our-lane oncoming cage in a blind turn and what got them there in the wrong lane is gonna be *them*and not whatever recent ego-offense that they reliably try to blame for everything that goes wrong in their misbegotten lives.

Too bad it wasn't a cliff. Cause people like that, driving tuned up *and* crazy, they will kill sooner or later, just a matter of when.

MoraleHazard · Post by **MoraleHazard** » Mon Mar 19, 2012 8:15 am

I agree with Goose: You're actions exacerbated the situation. But I have nothing but admiration for your corrective actions. A real douche wouldn't have even noticed the girl riding in the other direction, much less turned around to help.

Rabbit_Fighter · Post by **Rabbit_Fighter** » Mon Mar 19, 2012 9:22 am

Passing someone is a nice way of saying, "I'm going faster than you right now."

Despite a lot of douchebags interpreting it as such, it does not mean "I am always faster than you, have a more fulfilling sex life, and love banging your mother."

Whether its an R1, Harley, KLR, Lotus, or VW bus . . . if I see them in my mirror, I get the fuck out of their way.

absent_carlo · Post by **absent_carlo** » Mon Mar 19, 2012 9:44 am

What's the lane check test? Three honks and doing roll-ons? Thanks for sharing man.

SpecialK · Post by **SpecialK** » Thu Mar 22, 2012 12:26 pm

Well you're not going to get any sympathy from me. It sounds like you were being a prick. I'm with Pattio, ride a bicycle. You can have most of the same fun times, get your red mist on, and it's extremely unlikely you'll be able to get anybody hurt. Plus you live right in the sweet spot for hot bike girls.

Post by **Beemer Dan** » Thu Mar 22, 2012 8:15 pm

Don't be too hard on yourself. You aren't giving yourself enough credit for the good that you did, and taking too much blame for the bad. There's been plenty of times that some assclown saw me on my led sled of a bike and is suddenly transformed into the Faust and the Furious. I think these douchetools get boners when they drive next to riding lawn mowers and rev their engines at old disabled people on electric scooter chairs. Usually my response is just to steer clear of them, and sometimes I just pull over and let them get a good 5-10 minutes away.

No need to back off the riding because other people behave like asshats. I wish there was some universal hand sign that meant "I'm not trying to race you, I'm trying to avoid being near you when you collide with something".

kitkat · Post by **kitkat** » Fri Mar 23, 2012 7:05 am

interesting to see the "You made me do it" type arguments getting so much validation...

Rabbit_Fighter · Post by **Rabbit_Fighter** » Fri Mar 23, 2012 8:48 am

kitkat wrote:interesting to see the "You made me do it" type arguments getting so much validation...

Indeed. Goose didn't make anybody do anything.

Now those girls who wear short skirts on the other hand . . . .

Seriously though, you can take no blame for provoking their jackassery. You were out riding your own ride and some douchebags decided to one up you. The only thing you might have done differently, is pulled over and let them by when they started acting like morons.

WeAintFoundShit · Post by **WeAintFoundShit** » Fri Mar 23, 2012 11:11 am

Get ze to ze track!
Moar fun, less bimmer!

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BMW M5 - The Ultimate

BMW M5 - The Ultimate