Roommate drama. What would you do?

WeAintFoundShit · Post by **WeAintFoundShit** » Sun Jun 10, 2012 11:10 am

Thus far, the place I've lived for the past three years has been very chill and low drama.
There are the annoying things that just naturally come from living with people, but the only thing really wrong is my roommate's goddamned dog (neurotic little fucker barks and barks and barks at EVERYTHING, no matter what training is applied).

The dog is an actual, legitimate issue. Seriously, they (the owners) don't know what they're doing, won't listen to those of us that do, and won't get any help (the dog really needs professional help; it's fucking insane). It's been driving me batshit crazy for three years now.

Anyway, a few months ago, one of the dog owner roomies started on birth control, and got super weird, moody, unstable, and bitchy.
Then the dog started getting aggressive, and started attacking other dogs unprovoked and without warning, and is now showing aggression towards people.
Now I need to sublet my room for the summer/fall, because I'm not gonna be here, and can't really afford to shell out over a thousand bucks for a place I'm not gonna live. This has been done in the past, no problems.

Only this time, the "used to be totally nice, but now is wacked out on hormones" roommate is worried about the dog, and having new people in the house. At first she said she didn't want to deal with bringing a new person in, and was going to help cover my rent to avoid it.
Then all of a sudden she busted out with some line of bullshit that "there is nothing in the lease about subletting, so there will absolutely be no subletting ever again, period, end of story."

The thing about California is that there HAS TO BE something in the lease that specifically bans subletting, or it is explicitly legal. Plus, our landlord really and truly doesn't give a shit. Like, REALLY doesn't give a shit. As long as he gets his rent, he is totally hands off.

Right now I feel like I'm getting screwed out of a significant amount of money because of someone's jacked up hormones, and a dog that has made me miserable for three damned years.

On top of it, she's got a little Ninja 250 that she hasn't really ridden in the entire time I've lived here. She tried once, and the carbs were plugged, so I stood there in the garage for two hours, and taught her and her boyfriend how to do the cleaning job themselves. A short while later, I accidentally knocked the damned thing over, and put a scratch in it. In the same conversation, she says "No subletters ever, end of story, cover your own rent" she also says "replace my side panel before you go out of town."

Part of me thinks (and has always thought) "Yeah, I broke it, I fix it." Part of me thinks "You're fucking me out of a bunch of money; fuck your side panel. How about we call it even for the carb job?"

Feeling like I just got screwed out of a bunch of cash is sort of roommate relationship poison, and I need a happy healthy place until I get out of school. Plus I don't have any reason to stay in this town from now until January. Part of me wants to stuff my shit into storage and bail for a while, and find a new place when I get back.
The other side is that I've got cheap rent, convenient transpo to campus, and a garage.

I dunno... I've already ranted this aplenty to ICGF, so I'm really asking for opinions. I'm honestly not sure what the best way is to handle this.

SidVicious · Post by **SidVicious** » Sun Jun 10, 2012 11:35 am

rolly · Post by **rolly** » Sun Jun 10, 2012 12:08 pm

Get the fuck out of there and don't look back.

WeAintFoundShit · Post by **WeAintFoundShit** » Sun Jun 10, 2012 1:00 pm

SidVicious wrote:

BAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!

Thank you for that.

goose · Post by **goose** » Sun Jun 10, 2012 1:10 pm

rolly wrote:Get the fuck out of there and don't look back.

sage advice. Lots of places to live in Davis, go find a better situation. Your situation sounds like fixing an old ATK, more effort and anxiety than it will ever be worth.

Post by **DerGolgo** » Sun Jun 10, 2012 1:13 pm

goose wrote:
rolly wrote:Get the fuck out of there and don't look back.
sage advice. Lots of places to live in Davis, go find a better situation. Your situation sounds like fixing an old ATK, more effort and anxiety than it will ever be worth.

+1

The question is: Is the convenience you describe worth the continued insanity and dog-related dangers?
Would the stress of less convenient living be greater than the stress you are exposed to now?

I'd try and find a cheap replacement for the panel on her Ninja. Not install it, just leave it on the kitchen table when you "surprisingly" (to her) move the heck out.
Maybe pin a bill for two-hours of carburettor work on it with a big red x and a scribbled "we're even" on it.
This will piss her off because it takes away the most precious thing a drama queen of any gender has, a legitimate reason for bitching.
I don't know about the arrangement with your landlord, but might she not find a big gaping hole where her wallet used to be without you chipping in on the rent?
Even if not, she'll feel the distress of a new roommate. A new roommate who will either be willing to deal with an insane lady and murderous dog, so will probably not win the title "world's greatest roommate" themselves, or will soon bolt also. Unless such a person can be found, she'll have to do the unthinkable, the unmentionable, the horrible - accommodate someone else. Should she fail to do that, she'll enjoy many happy times of bickering, fighting, yelling, roommates moving out again and the whole cycle repeating.

So, basically, you have the chance to help her ruin her life for weeks, months, maybe years. She'd blame you, but depending on how many friends you share, might be worth it.

Also, I'd leave something for aspiring roommates to find as a warning about that dog. Maybe a mock lawyer-advertisment tacked to a tree or so easily seen from the porch offering services to people attacked by other people's dogs. Or a mock public notice about reporting dangerous animals in incompetent hands to the authorities. Perhaps find a neighbor who is pissed off about the barking and conspire to keep such a poster in a place where it's not only easily seen but cannot be removed by her, or to get it replaced whenever she tears it down.
If there are schools, daycare facilities or just many families with children in the neighborhood, perhaps as a farewell, print out a flyer with a picture of the dog and a dire warning about not going near it, it attacks, beware, protect your children!

Yes, it's mean, but not only does she not sound like a nice person, she sounds like someone who needs to fall a bit so she'll realize she has to change. Pain hurts but pain also teaches.

EDIT: None of us are perfect, and while I don't really know you, what you're like as a roommate, I know we (humans) tend to gloss over our own faults. While you sound like an immensely accommodating and helpful, there is a chance you may not be the greatest roommate, either. I don't know and I don't care, I just trust you'll consider what faults you may or may not have and make the right decision before embarking on any revenge quests.
I also trust that, should you find that yes, she deserves some shit falling on her, you'll keep us updated.
Also, get witnesses to the state you leave the place in, you don't want to get a bill for some bullshit repairs of "damages" she found you left behind you. And keep evidence as to the sidecover so she can't try getting you for that.
Do this in the knowledge that finding any plots for revenge she herself might hatch backfiring on her will give her even more grief.

Sisyphus · Post by **Sisyphus** » Sun Jun 10, 2012 1:46 pm

"You're fucking me out of a bunch of money; fuck your side panel. How about we call it even for the carb job, and by the way--your dog fucking sucks."

Zim · Post by **Zim** » Sun Jun 10, 2012 1:53 pm

WeAintFoundShit wrote:...started on birth control, and got super weird, moody, unstable, and bitchy.

Oooh, I've been there. Ex-girlfriend.

EX-girlfriend.

Run. Save yourself.

WeAintFoundShit · Post by **WeAintFoundShit** » Sun Jun 10, 2012 3:09 pm

Yeah, it's a crying shame, because (aside from the suck dog) this house has worked out super well until now.

The reasons for staying:

Three months worth of rent: $1075
Three months worth of storage: $450

If I move, I basically have between June 16th and July 2nd to get it done, because then I'm going on a road trip with ICGF. That's not a lot of time to disentrench myself, especially because of the amount of motorcycle shit I've got, and the fact that my real mission for those two weeks is to fix and sell as much of my crap as I can. Those two missions are complimentary, but competing for time.

My rent here is cheap. Cheaper than most places in Davis, especially for a place that lets me almost completely take over the garage. Add in increased rent later on with storage costs, and it might be a zero sum game to move out.

I've got full run of the garage.

The bus stop to get to school is literally on the other side of my back fence. Cheap, easy, convenient, low stress.

Really, I've only got one more year in this town, and this town is big on year leases, so getting one for six months later on might be kind of a bitch.

Up until now, I'd consider my roommates friends. I'd hate to just bail over something that might be a temporary freak out (depends on how long chica stays on birth control).

Reasons for leaving:

THE FUCKING DOG.

Soured friendship over strange roommate freakout and rent money extortion.

Chica might stay on birth control, and continue to be weird and unhappy all of the time.

Not having rent and bills to worry about means I can odd job my way around the continent a bit, and head up to Toronto to spend more time with ICGF.

motorpsycho67 · Post by **motorpsycho67** » Sun Jun 10, 2012 3:20 pm

Run like a motherfucker. Put that crap in storage and travel. You'll be much happier.

I vowed a long time ago that my next roommate will have a ring on her finger.

I live alone and my rent is dirt cheap.... you can do it too if you make it your mission.

WeAintFoundShit · Post by **WeAintFoundShit** » Sun Jun 10, 2012 5:42 pm

DerGolgo wrote:Stuff.

Actually, aside from the all a sudden weird drama, she's a very cool person. The lady volunteered as a suicide prevention counselor, and cried because she was worried about me being so isolated in this town (I am very much not cut out for where I live).

This whole dramatic business that she's doing is really out of character, and I don't like it.

I should also probably mention that I need to be back in a stable home type environment by the beginning of January, because that's when I need to report back to school.

AZRider · Post by **AZRider** » Sun Jun 10, 2012 6:33 pm

Coming "home" to a place that doesn't feel welcoming is the most stress-inducing thing I have experienced. Worse than a suckass job. Maybe you don't feel it as acutely as I do, but not having a safe haven at the end of the road leaves me constantly gritting my teeth. I'd bail.

Rock · Post by **Rock** » Sun Jun 10, 2012 6:42 pm

Been "Blue Falconed" by 2 UTMCer's that "house sat" for me and my last roomie just upped and left so, from past experience I'd say do the following:

Kick Chica in the "Y", try not lose a shoe in there.
Knock over the 250 on the other side and write up a bill for giving a matching set.
Sell all your crap except gear and bike.

Take proceeds of sales and GTFO.

before departure give the dog a steak, not his fault owers are fucktards.

AZRider · Post by **AZRider** » Sun Jun 10, 2012 6:46 pm

"Blue Falconed?"

piccini9 · Post by **piccini9** » Sun Jun 10, 2012 7:13 pm

THREE YEARS? Are you fucking kidding me? Walk away.

calamari kid · Post by **calamari kid** » Sun Jun 10, 2012 7:47 pm

You guys are all nicer than me. I'd get a sublet for the travel time, just to piss her off, then bail when I got back from traveling. But I'm loading a bunch of shit that I went through with an ex-friend/roomate in a similar situation some years back.

If you value your sanity and friendship, get out now. It'll only get worse in my experience.

rolly · Post by **rolly** » Sun Jun 10, 2012 7:56 pm

AZRider wrote:"Blue Falconed?"

Blue Falconed
(I had to look it up)

AZRider · Post by **AZRider** » Sun Jun 10, 2012 8:05 pm

I obviously looked it up in the wrong places.

WeAintFoundShit · Post by **WeAintFoundShit** » Sun Jun 10, 2012 9:49 pm

Rock wrote:Been "Blue Falconed" by 2 UTMCer's that "house sat" for me and my last roomie just upped and left so, from past experience I'd say do the following:

Kick Chica in the "Y", try not lose a shoe in there.
Knock over the 250 on the other side and write up a bill for giving a matching set.
Sell all your crap except gear and bike.

Take proceeds of sales and GTFO.

before departure give the dog a steak, not his fault owers are fucktards.

It really sucks to hear that you got BF'd by two UTMC folks. Really sucks.

I give the dogs meat all the time. I cook BBQ on a weekly basis, and someone's gotta eat the trimmings. Plus the mixture of alpha discipline and random treats for following commands makes the dogs pretty easy to deal with... Unless the neurotic one hears a noise. Any noise. Or thinks that there might be a person, any person, anywhere that isn't in sight. Then he's a proper little shit.

Seriously, he has freaked out and started barking at his own farts before. If I'm downstairs studying, and turn a page, and the page crinkles, he will come storming down the stairs in a full on, hackles raised, barking freakout.

The other dog? I lurv him. I will seriously cry about leaving him if I move. Tears. My own tears. He's awesome.

WeAintFoundShit · Post by **WeAintFoundShit** » Sun Jun 10, 2012 9:56 pm

AZRider wrote:Coming "home" to a place that doesn't feel welcoming is the most stress-inducing thing I have experienced. Worse than a suckass job. Maybe you don't feel it as acutely as I do, but not having a safe haven at the end of the road leaves me constantly gritting my teeth. I'd bail.

Dude, seriously. I was abused by my stepdad growing up. His way of functioning was that he owned the world and everything in it, and that any residual presence of anyone else inside "his" house was completely unacceptable. He'd throw full on rage fits all the time at the slightest inconveniences. It made life hell, and yeah, coming home to being unwelcome every day is a psychologically traumatizing and grating experience. Needless to say, I left home early. Every time I ended up back there, it was awful.

If I GTFO, one of the places I want to visit is my parent's new place in Texas. Mostly it's to see my little brother, and teach him to ride (motherfucker has a motocross track literally in his back yard). Knowing that I'll have to be there with the step, however... Ugh. He's gotten way, way, waaaay better in his old age (and declining health) but at this point the distaste is pretty ingrained.

motorpsycho67 · Post by **motorpsycho67** » Mon Jun 11, 2012 12:00 am

WeAintFoundShit wrote: He's gotten way, way, waaaay better in his old age (and declining health) but at this point the distaste is pretty ingrained.

The bonus here is that you're now big enough to knock him silly if he even looks at you wrong.

I remember when my dad found out that he couldn't order me to do a damn thing anymore. Wasn't until I was in my early 20s that I had the cojones to look him square in the eye and tell him where to go, but the he got the message pretty damn clearly...

Put your crap in storage and go have an adventure. You'll be damn glad you did, guaranteed.

Post by **DerGolgo** » Mon Jun 11, 2012 7:23 am

WeAintFoundShit wrote:
DerGolgo wrote:Stuff.
Actually, aside from the all a sudden weird drama, she's a very cool person. The lady volunteered as a suicide prevention counselor, and cried because she was worried about me being so isolated in this town (I am very much not cut out for where I live).

This whole dramatic business that she's doing is really out of character, and I don't like it.

I should also probably mention that I need to be back in a stable home type environment by the beginning of January, because that's when I need to report back to school.

Well, then, the only alternative to moving out would be, I think, an intervention. All AA style. Not just you alone but with some of her friends and relatives as a backup. Wouldn't do that without having a new place lined up to literally bug out the minute she gets angry.
I'd maybe research possible treatments to alleviate the emotional side effects of her chosen birth control method or even alternative birth control methods so that, should the intervention work, you can point her in a good direction right away.
I'd also have a video camera handy so that if, on the day, she does agree she needs to change, but later changes her mind, you can maybe show her something that might remind her why she agreed in the first place.

Apart from that, run for it.

goose · Post by **goose** » Mon Jun 11, 2012 9:15 am

Dude, Looks like you've already been sucked pretty deep into someone else's drama. Stop.

Just pack up your shit, store it and leave. Never jump into the water with a drowning person, they will guilt you until they are standing on your shoulders to breath while you're becoming fish food.

She's circling the drain and all the excuses for her behavior will not change that fact. She's embraced her predicament and wants you to do the same. Yep, I'd leave the keys on the kitchen counter and find myself some new digs.

Bo_9 · Post by **Bo_9** » Mon Jun 11, 2012 10:37 am

goose wrote:Dude, Looks like you've already been sucked pretty deep into someone else's drama. Stop.

Just pack up your shit, store it and leave. Never jump into the water with a drowning person, they will guilt you until they are standing on your shoulders to breath while you're becoming fish food.

She's circling the drain and all the excuses for her behavior will not change that fact. She's embraced her predicament and wants you to do the same. Yep, I'd leave the keys on the kitchen counter and find myself some new digs.

+1

What he said.

Sisyphus · Post by **Sisyphus** » Mon Jun 11, 2012 12:21 pm

Leave, take the dog you like with you.

Bigshankhank · Post by **Bigshankhank** » Mon Jun 11, 2012 1:38 pm

WeAintFoundShit · Post by **WeAintFoundShit** » Mon Jun 11, 2012 4:55 pm

I was wondering how/when that was gonna get relevant.

Metalredneck · Post by **Metalredneck** » Mon Jun 11, 2012 5:26 pm

Watch the screen door NOT hit my ass on the way out.

Midliferider · Post by **Midliferider** » Tue Jun 12, 2012 3:53 am

Tell her to get off the pill and switch back to condoms. Then in a week or so after she has cooled down have a talk. When you then discover it wasn't the fault of the pill, cut out for sure. Leave a big turd in her bedroom and a note telling her ...your dog did this.

stiles · Post by **stiles** » Thu Jun 14, 2012 10:06 pm

rolly wrote:Get the fuck out of there and don't look back.

This. A thousand times this... and give her a bill for the carb cleaning, telling her you'll replace the side panel after she pays you for that.

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Roommate drama. What would you do?

Roommate drama. What would you do?

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