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Best line I've ever used on a squid.

A forum for the off topic stuff. Everything from religion to philosophy to sex to humor (see why it used to be called Buggery?). All manner of rude psychological abuse is welcome and encouraged.
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WeAintFoundShit
Ayatollah of Mayhem
Location: Davis

Best line I've ever used on a squid.

Post by WeAintFoundShit » Mon Jun 18, 2012 10:53 pm

So I work out most days at the UC Davis activities and recreation center (aka, "The ARC"). Today I was parking my truck, and this young dude on a sportbike rolls up and parks right in front of me (motorcycle parking was in front of my truck).

He is wearing a full face helmet, leather jacket, gloves, nylon basketball shorts, and running shoes.
He's *almost* got it.

For some reason, I decided to hold my tongue. But the way things worked out, he ended up walking in front of me for a relatively substantial amount of time, and then was in line in front of me at the equipment check out desk.

I finally couldn't help myself.

"Where's your pants dude!?"

"What?"

"Where's your pants!?"

"I'm going to the gym!"

"So!?"

Kid says something else, but I forget what.

And here's the part that made me laugh: "Kid, I've had more motorcycle wrecks than you've had orgasms, and I'd never ever ride without pants on."

His reply was "Yeah, I've never gone down, so I probably just haven't learned yet."

"Well, learn the easy way and get some pants!!"


"The grip on the right is the fun regulator." -Donny Greene

I crash a lot.

stiles
Ayatollah of Mayhem
Location: Mid Atlantic

Post by stiles » Mon Jun 18, 2012 11:42 pm

Yeah, I had a similar conversation with people at Duc NY when they didn't want to buy or wear anything including knee armor.

I'd tell them to try falling on the concrete floor, knees first, in the showroom. At 0 mph. Then see how well their knees worked afterwards.

Sold a lot of armor that way... and at least one person came in later to thank me, after they had gone down in the armor I sold them and had been able to walk away as a result.
"If we cannot be free, we can at least be cheap" - Frank Zappa

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Sisyphus
Rigging the Ancient Mariner
Location: The Muckworks
Contact:

Post by Sisyphus » Tue Jun 19, 2012 3:41 am

I took the RD to see a movie last week, the motorcycle parking area had two other riders just pulling into it; between the three of us we took the whole of the space up.
One guy, fully geared up, R1. Other guy, probably about 40, jeans, sneakers, t-shirt. On an Aprilia (forget what model, but it looked and sounded awesome).
Aprilia guy looks at me, "Whatisthat...a...Honda?" The other guy is like "No man, its a fuckin' Yamaha, a two stroke." I could see him rolling his eyes in his helmet, obviously embarrassed for his buddy.
I asked him if he wanted to trade, said nope.
Sent from my POS laptop plugged into the wall

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DerGolgo
Zaphod's Zeitgeist
Location: Potato

Re: Best line I've ever used on a squid.

Post by DerGolgo » Tue Jun 19, 2012 6:12 am

WeAintFoundShit wrote: His reply was "Yeah, I've never gone down, so I probably just haven't learned yet."
For someone acting as un-smart as him, that is a GENIUS level of self-awareness!
If there were absolutely anything to be afraid of, don't you think I would have worn pants?

I said I have a big stick.

Rabbit_Fighter
Keeper of the Lava
Location: Seattle (Wedgwood)

Post by Rabbit_Fighter » Tue Jun 19, 2012 6:48 am

I'm always judgmental as hell when I see guys riding in shorts, despite the fact that I frequently ride in jeans, which aren't that much better.
"no.
motorcycle the finality not is
motorcycle merely medium to achieve action of riding
motorcycle tool to bend space and time and overcome your own limitations as a mortal
riding more important than medium
spirit by object cannot be beaten."

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thrasherbill
Burninator of the Dirt Oval
Location: The Ranch, Langley, B.C. eh
Contact:

Post by thrasherbill » Tue Jun 19, 2012 8:07 am

I always picture stuff like this when I see the squids out and about


Image

Wonder how his elbow as after that?
KZ's are for assholes... - scumbag
Well, if KZ riders are assholes, and CB riders are fucktards, I guess Buell riders can forthwith be known as cunts. - guitargeek
I cannot brain today, I have the dumb. - piccini9
In other news, I want to have sex with your bike. - Beemer Dan
A beard, it's like tits for your face. - MagnusTheBuilder

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DerGolgo
Zaphod's Zeitgeist
Location: Potato

Post by DerGolgo » Tue Jun 19, 2012 10:19 am

Rabbit_Fighter wrote:I'm always judgmental as hell when I see guys riding in shorts, despite the fact that I frequently ride in jeans, which aren't that much better.
You make me think of something.
I thought they were way too expensive and stuff, but apart from that, I've heard good things about those kevlar-fiber-mix jeans that give jeans look and (supposedly) jeans comfort combined with actual riding gear protection level.
The squids, they are starting to camouflage!
If there were absolutely anything to be afraid of, don't you think I would have worn pants?

I said I have a big stick.

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thrasherbill
Burninator of the Dirt Oval
Location: The Ranch, Langley, B.C. eh
Contact:

Post by thrasherbill » Tue Jun 19, 2012 10:52 am

DerGolgo wrote:
Rabbit_Fighter wrote:I'm always judgmental as hell when I see guys riding in shorts, despite the fact that I frequently ride in jeans, which aren't that much better.
You make me think of something.
I thought they were way too expensive and stuff, but apart from that, I've heard good things about those kevlar-fiber-mix jeans that give jeans look and (supposedly) jeans comfort combined with actual riding gear protection level.
The squids, they are starting to camouflage!
The only problem I have with the kevlar lined jeans is none of them have or come with any provision for armour. The kevlar is good for abrasion resistance but provides zero impact resistance which I think is way more important for normal everyday street riding. Sure you can wear extra strap on armour underneath them but it would be nice if they'd include pockets for removable armour.
KZ's are for assholes... - scumbag
Well, if KZ riders are assholes, and CB riders are fucktards, I guess Buell riders can forthwith be known as cunts. - guitargeek
I cannot brain today, I have the dumb. - piccini9
In other news, I want to have sex with your bike. - Beemer Dan
A beard, it's like tits for your face. - MagnusTheBuilder

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Sisyphus
Rigging the Ancient Mariner
Location: The Muckworks
Contact:

Post by Sisyphus » Tue Jun 19, 2012 1:21 pm

Actually the Draggin jeans come w/ knee stuff. But they're really sweaty.
And overall the fit is kinda tight. If you've ever seen me in person, that's saying a lot.
Sent from my POS laptop plugged into the wall

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Groove
El Monstro De La Noche
Location: Northern NY (The most North-ist part)

Post by Groove » Wed Jun 20, 2012 7:42 am

But if I buy armor I won't have enough for the douchey fluorescent helmet Mohawk that I reaaly want.
#############
"My new spleen came from a guy who liked the motorcycle" - Philip J. Frye

09 KLR (Gonzo)
03 SV650 (Crouchy Von Spine-Mangler)
02 KTM 640 (The Homewrecker)

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Bigshankhank
Fully Autonomous Cock-Puncher
Location: Exiled to Living in a Van Down By The River
Contact:

Post by Bigshankhank » Wed Jun 20, 2012 8:18 am

Groove wrote:But if I buy armor I won't have enough for the douchey fluorescent helmet Mohawk that I reaaly want.
Just spike your hair and keep your helmet on the latch on the side of your bike. Free mohawk, and you have a spare helmet for the bitches. Duh.
It's time for Humankind to ditch the imaginary friends of our species' childhood and grow the fuck up.
-Davros

"Lasse mich deine Seele dem Herrscher der Finsternis opfern"

Let me sacrifice your soul to the ruler of darkness

Always carry a bottle of whiskey when you travel in case of a snakebite. Futhermore, always carry a small snake.

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Jonny
Sausage Pirate
Location: Anakie Rd.

Post by Jonny » Wed Jun 20, 2012 8:45 am

Not meaning to be rude, but he'll probably need to buy that fluorescent mohawk anyway...

Zim
Ayatollah of Mayhem
Location: Peyton Place

Post by Zim » Wed Jun 20, 2012 3:42 pm

Jonny wrote:Not meaning to be rude, but he'll probably need to buy that fluorescent mohawk anyway...
:lol:

I mean: Jonny! Shame on you!
"Every time I start thinking the world is all bad, then I start seeing some people having a good time on motorcycles... it makes me take another look." --Steve McQueen

roadmissile
Chief Marketing Schwaggerizer
Location: CO

Post by roadmissile » Fri Jun 22, 2012 1:39 am

Sisyphus wrote:Actually the Draggin jeans come w/ knee stuff. But they're really sweaty.
And overall the fit is kinda tight. If you've ever seen me in person, that's saying a lot.
Red Route makes kevlar jeans as well, knee armor and all. Also very warm but baggy (of course, potentially limiting the benefit of the armor). Best options are dedicated riding pants or armor underneath, but really, with work and heat and general laziness I think some of us make the conscious choice to risk a little road rash.

The amount of people I see rocking the mohawk is actually astonishing to me, as is the fact that I only ever seem to see people rocking it in pink.

/RM
/Speed is our religion.

"If requests are an option, I'd like to be hit by a beautiful and highly trained nurse, driving a marshmallow. Naked. And then she would buy me an ice cream." - Rev

tucko
Maltov Rattlecan
Location: whittier, ca

Post by tucko » Sat Jun 23, 2012 10:28 pm

So, speaking of protective gear and such, am I the only person who has seen those stupid fake WW2 German helmets being worn....backwards?
The more corrupt a society, the more numerous its laws.

Zer0
Professor of Poop
Location: Smoggy Valley--east of Smog City

Post by Zer0 » Sat Jun 30, 2012 2:30 pm

I hope you weren't looking in the mirror.
'74 R90/6--Thor
'05 Sportster 1200--FrankenRat
My boy D when he was 4 wrote:Bones aren't important--we like motorcycles.
High Kommand wrote:That's the problem with giving a bike a girl's name. Too much temptation to lay it down to examine the undercarriage...

Mk3
Captain Sensible, Space Command.
Location: The people's republic of Illinois Welcome comrade, join the party!

Post by Mk3 » Sat Jun 30, 2012 10:02 pm

I've actually got a pair of cortek jeans with knee armor underneath and leather reinforced in the arse; just look like normal jeans. The pads stay right where they belong while riding. I've not had the fortue to field test them when riding comes to an abrupt halt, and hope not to win that lottery. Not full armor, but somethin.
"...when someone asks you if you're a god, you say "YES "!

"UTMC, it's an international disorganization of racers, aficionados, mechanics, lunatics, and scumbags. It's like an online motorcycle Mos Eisley."

EIF
Magnum Jihad
Location: in-transit

Post by EIF » Thu Jul 12, 2012 11:27 pm

stiles wrote:Yeah, I had a similar conversation with people at Duc NY when they didn't want to buy or wear anything including knee armor.

I'd tell them to try falling on the concrete floor, knees first, in the showroom. At 0 mph. Then see how well their knees worked afterwards.

Sold a lot of armor that way... and at least one person came in later to thank me, after they had gone down in the armor I sold them and had been able to walk away as a result.
Similarly, I've had the impulse to throw a rock at their legs, commenting about the joy of flying gravel from trucks.
Don't mix your Viagra with your Boniva, you'll only end up with stiff knees

Vitiare
Adhuc Homo Novus
Location: Austin, TX

Post by Vitiare » Fri Jul 13, 2012 6:55 am

Im on the Reddit motorcycle sub and am definitely one of the more outspoken proponents of ATGATT. The squids really dont like being preached to. Especially when you use facts, statistics, and common sense logic in your reply.

Good thing I dont give two flying fucks about their precious "karma" dick measuring contest they have on the subs.
"If loud pipes save lives, imagine what training and proper gear could do."

User avatar
MATPOC
The Unreasonable Ukranian
Location: Providence, RI

Post by MATPOC » Fri Jul 13, 2012 5:29 pm

been riding in shorts all day and pulling wheelies :) I'ma squid!

(total mileage for the day 4 miles)

JoJoLesh
Magnum Jihad
Location: Mid-Michigan
Contact:

Post by JoJoLesh » Sat Jul 14, 2012 7:46 pm

I too have armored kev jeans. From CycleGear. Fit is ok, kinda loose for my taste. Armor fit is not so great either, it tends to hang on the inside of my knees, not so far as to interference with grip, but not where I think it should be either.

I see they have MK3's pants on sale now too (cyclegear), I may go for a set. (cortech dsx). I like the thought of leather pannels.

I dont think any of the armored jeans would hold up as well as my looks-be-damed armored pants, but they breath nice and look normalish when one is off bike.
"Be careful that in casting out your devils, you do not cast out the best thing within you – Nietzsche

calamari kid
Ayatollah of Mayhem
Location: Lake Shitty

Post by calamari kid » Sat Jul 14, 2012 8:12 pm

I've got some icon strap on armor that's comfortable enough to wear all day. I cut the sleeves off of one of those hot weather performance undershirts and pull them on under the armor. The only time I notice they're on is when I kneel to work on a computer under a desk, and then I'm kinda happy I still have them on. I've got overpants that I pulled the armor from and I usually go with jeans or khaki's when it's hot out. I know, I'm a horrible horrible person. Been looking at the Sliders khaki's.
"Go soothingly on the grease mud, as there lurks the skid demon." -Honda manual circa 1962

"Being shot out of a cannon will always be better than being squeezed out of a tube. That is why God made fast motorcycles, Bubba...." -Hunter S Thompson

"A psychotic is a guy who's just found out what's going on." -William S. Burroughs

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