A German joins the Taliban ... (fucking HILARIOUS!!)

[DerGolgo]

I considered putting this in underground politics, but it's not really political at all. It's just the source material for the best "three guys walk into a ..." joke EVER.

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/worldne ... liban.html

German quits 'unhygienic, drug-using' Taliban
A German who volunteered to fight for the Taliban quit after becoming disheartened by the violence and annoyed with the group's macho and drug-taking world.

The guerrillas are too "unhygienic"? Guerrilla warfare is "too violent"? These guys living rough, expecting death everyday, glorying in the idea of martyrdom and all that while fighting for a medieval ideology are "too macho"? The world's numer 1 opium pushers are taking drugs??? SAY IT AIN'T SO!

But, no, it gets better!

In one case a Taliban fighter went to the German widow of a dead comrade and told her that she would marry him. The proposal was made without any consultation with her, "as if she was just an object" said Thomas U. in his statement.

Did this guy NOT read the brochure or did he NOT read the fucking brochure?!!

As someone who deals with joe average German consumers professionally, I must say: This is exactly the sort of buyer's remorse I expect from the too-lazy-to-think average person. I used to condemn this kind of behavior, making a decision based on what one wants to happen rather than getting some information first, I railed against those whose personality was set up that way. Now, I'm not so sure. Sure, I still loathe this sort of person, who get picky after they made their choice, but if nothing else, I can be sure they will never take up arms to make the world into their demented image. Sure, we could get a fourth reich of some form tomorrow, they'd be all over that, but at least we won't have to deal with these jackasses engaging in guerrilla warfare.

[JoJoLesh]

I protest your use of "Joe average German". Germans are NOT Joes. The list of acceptable names are as follows:
EDIT (I woke up at night upon the realization that these names intended in jest may be overly offensive, and so I have removed them. I still hold that Germans are not Joes.)

[kitkat]

I'm sorry but Germans really suck at guerrilla warfare..cause they *hate it*!~...the lack of snappy uniforms isn't the half of it... there's no marching, no flags & banners, no parades (gute gott), no heavy/complex machinery, no snazzy staff cars, all those *russian* guns, no BIG guns and the whole enterprise named after some 'untermensch' animal --which you end up smelling, looking and acting like in no time...... i mean _please_ there's just no fun there!

[DerGolgo]

True, true. I recall stories that the RAF (Baader-Meinhoff, not Douglas Bader) went to Jordan to be trained as guerrillas by the Fatah. Oddly enough though, the problem there was the Fatah considered them to be undisciplined and uncooperative while the jerries didn't see the point of following orders, doing training exercises they considered inappropriate for urban guerrillas or learning to actually shoot to hit targets, rather than just dropping as much lead as possible on them. This, of course, may just be official propaganda, make them lefties appear positively un-German, being undisciplined and disobedient and all that. Another PLO group, the PFLP, did hijack that plane in support for them in 1977 though, so whatever happened between them and Fatah didn't distance them from the Palestinians completely.

[Zer0]

I protest your use of "Joe average German". Germans are NOT Joes. The list of acceptable names are as follows:
EDIT (I woke up at night upon the realization that these names intended in jest may be overly offensive, and so I have removed them. I still hold that Germans are not Joes.)

Fine. I'm 7/8 Kraut. My mom's a full-on East Prussian Kraut. All of my male friends and relatives are or were an average:

Johann
Max
Hans
Karl
Heinz
Karl Heinz (not joking here)
Erich
Georg
Bruno
and . . .
Josef