ALL I WANT IS A PROPER CUP OF COFFEE

[Jaeger]

...Since quitting the tobacco sticks, my tolerance for caffeine went way down. Can't down a pot of coffee and go to bed like I used to as a young man. Wait... maybe I just didn't sleep back then.

Really? Weird. When I quit cigarettes (the first time) my caffeine intake skyrocketed. Then again, I was still in my 20s at that point -- and working as a night-shift dispatcher.

Of course I went back to smoking AND drinking 3-4 pots of coffee a night. I've moderated both over the years, but I'm still quite addicted to both caffeine and nicotine. Now it's just vape, snus, and only a single pot of coffee a day.

--Jaeger

[red]

I miss smoking, especially the ritual of it, and the little moments away. Haven't touched them since 2011 besides a few flings while traveling for work and Do0M.

I honestly don't drink more than 2 or 3 cups a day.

[DerGolgo]

What I want to know is why do I want coffee when I shouldn't drink it? Typically, around 9pm.

Do you have a cup of coffee when you get up in the morning? Conceivably, your body- or neuro-chemistry somehow adjusted itself to process caffeine when you're in a tired state, hence a craving.

I remember when I was serving my bit of conscription, there was one fella in the facility where I worked (assisted living). He'd have at least two mugs of coffee in the morning. And another one or two in the afternoon, after work.
And if there was any coffee left in the evening, eight or nine pm, before going to bed, he'd have that. And then basically switched off and slept like a rock.
It was explained to me that, for some people, coffee doesn't just stimulate, but also helps them get to sleep. Not a thing I have ever experienced personally.

I miss smoking, especially the ritual of it, and the little moments away.

If I may contribute as to that point

Show

Disclaimer: I don't want to suggest that you use a habit-forming substance.
You can do it with, or without, the nic. But specifically contrasted with caffeine, it bears elaborating.

Nicotine is a remarkable substance. It's both a stimulant and a depressant. Picks you up in the morning, or when you have to pull an all nighter. But will also calm you down when you're wound up, won't it.
I've read a number of opinions by people who research that stuff scientifically, including reputable physicians. They figure that nicotine is a safer stimulant than caffeine, since it doesn't mess with your pulse/heart-rhythm, like caffeine does, nor gives your the jitters by overstimulating your nervous system. Also a thing caffeine does.

I understand that potheads and black-market dealers have given vaping a bad rep in the US.
But it lets you scratch the itch and get the ritual without murder-cancering your lungs, with or without nicotine.

You don't have to use a device that requires a blowtorch and precision wire-cutters to set up. That is, you don't have to do it the fun way.
Friends of mine use a device, one of many available, that's build for convenience and stealth. Intensity/vapor production is controlled by how hard you draw. A fire button, an LED for battery status. Very simple. One friend thinks it's great fun to use it on the commuter train. By law, vaping is treated as smoking here, so is plus-illegal on any public transport. He can hide the device in his hand, and it lets him control vapor production so well, he makes no visible clouds, and neither other passengers nor conductors will notice.

This, for example, is what my friends use.

Show

The "Yearn" by Uwell.
It's smaller than the USB cable next to the box makes it look. Imagine an older USB stick, a long one. 86.7mm x 20.2mm x 10.4mm; that is 3.41" x 0.79" x 0.41".

The cartridges are ready-to-use, you just have to fill in a juice of your choice. Heating element and wick are built in and, once those wear out, the cartridge is easily disposed of. My friend fills up multiple cartridges so he has spares, and doesn't have to mess with a bottle while he is waiting for his train.
I'm told that a full charge, from empty, is achieved within one hour on the charger that plugs in the wall outlet. My friend usually gets by comfortably on one charge between leaving home in the morning and returning in the afternoon.
If he unusually doesn't, he just recharges it on his power brick.

This is just one example. There are many devices from many manufacturers. If you want to look into this, I am of course available for advice and support in finding a device that suits you.

On juice and running costs

Show

In case you figure e-juice prices are prohibitive, or the legislature in your state has bent over for big-tobacco and outlawed the stuff, fear not.
Mixing your own, from easily procured pharmaceutical-grade ingredients, is no great shakes.

For most people who aren't me, just buying pre-made juice and using small devices such as the one above does the job, and so much cheaper than smoking, the initial hardware purchase pays for itself within a month. That math is obviously not relevant to your situation, I mention it just to illustrate.

Me, I vape like a steam engine. On some days, I'll consume an order of magnitude more juice than those other, normal people.
Mixing my own juice, I estimate my running costs are maybe ~20% of what my pack-a-day habit would cost me.

[red]

If I may contribute as to that point

Show

Disclaimer: I don't want to suggest that you use a habit-forming substance.
You can do it with, or without, the nic. But specifically contrasted with caffeine, it bears elaborating.

Nicotine is a remarkable substance. It's both a stimulant and a depressant. Picks you up in the morning, or when you have to pull an all nighter. But will also calm you down when you're wound up, won't it.
I've read a number of opinions by people who research that stuff scientifically, including reputable physicians. They figure that nicotine is a safer stimulant than caffeine, since it doesn't mess with your pulse/heart-rhythm, like caffeine does, nor gives your the jitters by overstimulating your nervous system. Also a thing caffeine does.

I understand that potheads and black-market dealers have given vaping a bad rep in the US.
But it lets you scratch the itch and get the ritual without murder-cancering your lungs, with or without nicotine.

You don't have to use a device that requires a blowtorch and precision wire-cutters to set up. That is, you don't have to do it the fun way.
Friends of mine use a device, one of many available, that's build for convenience and stealth. Intensity/vapor production is controlled by how hard you draw. A fire button, an LED for battery status. Very simple. One friend thinks it's great fun to use it on the commuter train. By law, vaping is treated as smoking here, so is plus-illegal on any public transport. He can hide the device in his hand, and it lets him control vapor production so well, he makes no visible clouds, and neither other passengers nor conductors will notice.

This, for example, is what my friends use.

Show

The "Yearn" by Uwell.
It's smaller than the USB cable next to the box makes it look. Imagine an older USB stick, a long one. 86.7mm x 20.2mm x 10.4mm; that is 3.41" x 0.79" x 0.41".

The cartridges are ready-to-use, you just have to fill in a juice of your choice. Heating element and wick are built in and, once those wear out, the cartridge is easily disposed of. My friend fills up multiple cartridges so he has spares, and doesn't have to mess with a bottle while he is waiting for his train.
I'm told that a full charge, from empty, is achieved within one hour on the charger that plugs in the wall outlet. My friend usually gets by comfortably on one charge between leaving home in the morning and returning in the afternoon.
If he unusually doesn't, he just recharges it on his power brick.

This is just one example. There are many devices from many manufacturers. If you want to look into this, I am of course available for advice and support in finding a device that suits you.

On juice and running costs

Show

In case you figure e-juice prices are prohibitive, or the legislature in your state has bent over for big-tobacco and outlawed the stuff, fear not.
Mixing your own, from easily procured pharmaceutical-grade ingredients, is no great shakes.

For most people who aren't me, just buying pre-made juice and using small devices such as the one above does the job, and so much cheaper than smoking, the initial hardware purchase pays for itself within a month. That math is obviously not relevant to your situation, I mention it just to illustrate.

Me, I vape like a steam engine. On some days, I'll consume an order of magnitude more juice than those other, normal people.
Mixing my own juice, I estimate my running costs are maybe ~20% of what my pack-a-day habit would cost me.

I tried the vape route and didn't take to it at all. Back before this state banned smoke-able (<0.3% THC) hemp flower, I enjoyed that in rolled form.

[red]

I just got a nice bag of Jamaican Blue Mountain (blend) beans. It's tasty, not as good as 100% JBM but still good.

[red]

I was out getting filters for my Aeropress and I saw a basic pour-over mug kit and couldn't resist.

PXL_20210628_103543667.jpg

PXL_20210628_112741990.jpg

My first attempt was yesterday, but it was hot out, so I added extra sugar and ice cubes. Ended up pretty tasty. My cup today was a bit weak but not terrible at all.

[DerGolgo]

I don't think this has yet been mentioned here. Came across my path on the facebooks a while back. Sorry I didn't think to share. They were looking for crowdfunding at the time.

https://hiconsumption.com/jogo-coffee-brewing-straw/


The idea is clever, actually. Delicious coffee for when you're camping and stuff, and you can't lug the whole French Press along.
The idea: heat water, add coffee grounds (real coffee, not the instant abomination).
Then, instead of fumbling about with filters or anything, just suck it through the straw. There's a mesh-grid that does the job of the pressing bit in the French Press, basically.

The more I think about it, the more I like the idea. This is the future. This is what we need for mankind to move on, to get out of the cradle.
I don't know how they make coffee in microgravity, presently. But I bet dollars to donuts, it's gonna be worse than even the brown sadness water that comes out of vending machines down here.
This, though. Attach to a plastic bag with coffee grounds in it. Add hot water through a valve. Bingo bongo - zero-g coffee that's worth drinking!

So as near as I can tell, we now finally have assembled all the technology we need to get our Arse to Mars!

[red]

Dear Gods, we've reached out pinnacle!

[red]

I got some fancy mushroom blend coffee! I used to take Lion's Mane supplements, and they seemed to help with focus; so I thought I'd try the coffee. So far, it does seem to have more focus than normal coffee, without the jitters.

PXL_20211121_133842619.jpg

[DerGolgo]

I got some fancy mushroom blend coffee!

I was gonna ask for more details, entirely certain that finding anything like that here in potato would be yet another feat of super-human Amazon-scrolling.
And I just find that not only do people sell such coffee here, it's even described with the very simple term I had immediately decided could not possibly be getting used, seeing how we love to make up complex terms no one could ever guess for simple things.

How do you prepare this, Aeropress? French press? Filter? I'm seeing that stuff right away, first search... but so far, I'm only seeing the ground variant, which is generally way too fine for the Frenchie.

[red]

Unfortunately, it's ground only. It would be funny to open a bag full of beans and dried mushrooms.

I'm using a pour over and it's definitely muddy, which I don't like. I keep meaning to get a normal coffee maker for times like this.

[DerGolgo]

How about it. I found whole-bean mushroom coffee. "Cheerful Buddha" brand. Got Lion's Mane and a few other things.
And it's only about 6 or 7 times as expensive as the sort of "fair trade" coffees I usually buy.
I'm gonna await your report before I try.

[red]

How about it. I found whole-bean mushroom coffee. "Cheerful Buddha" brand. Got Lion's Mane and a few other things.
And it's only about 6 or 7 times as expensive as the sort of "fair trade" coffees I usually buy.
I'm gonna await your report before I try.

I searched for that band, in whole bean, and was unable to find it. Interesting. So, it's been 6 days, and besides the muddiness due to the grind
size, I'm liking it. I'm a few hours into my shift today, without my mix of reg and 'shroom coffee and my focus does seem to be a little off compared to earlier in the week when I was tearing through my work. Will continue to ingest and report back.

About 4 years ago, I took straight lion's mane supplements and they helped but I ran out after a while and I'm really bad about supplements and I'm lucky I remember to take my actual medication every morning. But put some supplements in my coffee, definitely won't forget it.

[DerGolgo]

This. I want this. I want it with a flaming passion.

smeg.jpg

Admit it. You want it in your life. It is perfect. And it's not even some cheap novelty, it's €199,99 from old man Bezos's store.

Sheer serendipity: Membership Package required, stat!

Show

While looking for a clip of the man saying the thing, I found this channel instead.

He is like the housefly. He streaks away from a car as a fly flees the clumsy hand- with impunity and grace. And a Go Pro. And choice language. Impunity, grace, a Go Pro, and choice language. He is of course wrong about the Fiat 500, but such discussion is what this place is for to begin with.
The bike he seems to daily in that traffic is a kilo Ninja, btw.

How are we on pinkie-export certificates for the UK, post Brexit and all? @Johnny Duncan?

And I do love how he wastes the tech-support scammer's time.

Unfortunately, further research revealed that the actual Smeg is not suitable for my needs, that being coffee ground suitable for a French Press or, on rare occasions, an Aero Press.

Act I: Here be the setup:

In April this year, I had to buy a new coffee grinder.

Show

I spent a little more than the last time, on a name-brand model from Germany's probably most well established coffee-preparation-accessory brand, Melitta. The company's name is the first name of the woman who started it after (supposedly) inventing the modern paper filter when she had improvised one using the blotting paper her kids used in their exercise books. Whether there was already blotted ink to add some flavor is not recorded.

When I got it, I did notice how it spat out far more over-fine grounds than the old one. But those came with enough of a static charge, most of it got stock to the top of the receptacle and could be spooned off before loading the French Press.
I still would do a second filtration, and I still would clear a layer of black gunk out of my mug at the end of the day. The coffee would also turn a bit bitter after a while, but it seemed acceptable.

Act II: Here be the conflict:

THIRTY FUCKING PERCENT!!

Show

In recent weeks, though, I seemed to be spending more and more time separating fine coffee-grounds stuck to the plastic container, carefully spooning them out, trying to minimize the amount of appropriately sized grounds I had to take out.

aussortiert.jpeg

As you can see in this photographs, I end up spooning out an lot. A good deal of it is properly ground bycatch, but it's not like I can throw that fish back just like that.
Yes, I missed out the edge of the spoon when weighing, probably on account of being blind on that side and all.

But just how much coffee do I pay for but cannot brew with?
Here is the weigh-in before the spooning:

alles.jpeg

tara.jpeg

Deducting the weight of the container from the initial weighing, I start out with 112 grams of coffee grounds.
Assuming a generous 10 grams for the partial weight of the spoon, that's 34 grams. Let's see, 34g/112g*100%...

That's fucking THIRTY PERCENT, and no less than 30%, that I'm paying for - but cannot use!

So once again, I start researching. Not nearly willing to spend a half grand on the fanciest fancy, but no false economies. Just the cost of coffee I've lost since April would have covered the price difference between the name-brand machine I saddled myself with, and a proper grinder.
The SMEG, as much as I instantly fell in love with it, is not for French Press grinding.

Act III: Here be the resolution:

The Baratza Encore.

EncoreWhite_1054xKopie.jpg

Why the heck this one, specifically?

Show

The review that had convinced me to get this one had been from a guy who seems to make a living testing coffee-related everything. He reports that he has the Encore on standby to make French Press coffee for guests (hisself appearing to be an Espresso person). That his own mother would only drink the coffee he made by French Press after it had been put through another filter, not unlike I have been doing it.
But now that he uses the Encore to grind coffee for his French Press, she drinks the coffee poured straight from the French Press, no additional filtration needed, and that she likes it. Pretty much exactly what I want.

Actual fucking build quality

Show

Yes, it's not motorcycle colored. But that would have been almost a week for shipping, while the one in anti-flash white (I've just decided it's a part of the V-Bomber Force, painted to withstand the heat flash of a nuclear blast) was to arrive within 2 days. And it did.

Unpacking it, I was already pleasantly surprised. That bugger is heavy, everything feels solid, and even the plug wore a hat:

stecker.jpeg

UPDASLEDIT: being me, I of course dropped a piece of it today. The cover of the hopper, as it happens.
It did not break. It did not even get a crack. I'm not sure it didn't get a little buffer on the way down, so I will surely not just get nonchalant about it.
Still. With one exceptions, transparent bits of coffee grinders hitting the ground is par for the course, unfortunately. Every (electric, non-antique) coffee grinder I have ever owned bears the scars of transparent bits hitting the ground. At the very least, there would be tiny cracks around the edge, or entire patterns of tiny, parallel cracks forming along a stress riser.
I shall not rely on it instead of trying to be careful. But even the low-import plastic on this machine can hit the ground and is ready for an encore (see what I did there? ).

And it didn't end there.
The user manual explicitly forbade cleaning the top ring or any part of the grinder assembly with water. Because they would rust.
Yes, the people who designed this didn't just pick any old grade of stainless with whatever limitations that would have entailed.
What is more, between grinders and the hopper on top is a silicone-rubber gasket. Fiddly to install, yeah - but evidence that whoever designed this machine wasn't just throwing together bits in a pretty casing. Was paying attention to functionality, which is unfortunately rare in consumer appliances, isn't it.

Using it is... it's as if this was made to be operated by, y'know. A person.

Show

The machine has a three-piece interface. The kill-switch that can turn either way, the hopper that must be turned to select the grinding grade, and the fire button.
There is no dial or whatnot to select the amount of coffee that is to be ground. No, there is a fire button. You press it, and the grinder grinds. You don't, and it don't. The manual suggests not to grind beyond a level indicated on the receptacle, to avoid clogging.

Yes. The people who made this machine made the terrifying assumption that the user can operate a simple appliance where that operation is just to press a button, wait, and then don't press the button. These guys are off the chain!!

CORRECTION:The user does not, after all, have to keep the button pressed. What I had assumed to be a master/kill switch is, after all, a bridge of the fire-button. Turn it on, it grinds without further intervention, and until intervention.
Yes, I made an ASS outta U and Me. Because of course!

In light of the above correction, this segment is less curious than initially assumed

Show

Curiosity: all the grinders I had before had the selector for an amount of coffee to be ground, and an on/off button, would take care of themselves there. If the hopper ran empty before the selected amount of grinding had been completed (pretty certain there's just a rotation-counter in any such machine), the motor would spin free. And would spin up to crazy, She can't take any more, Captain! RPM. However much noise the machine made when grinding, this would be an order of magnitude or so louder.
Since, on the Encore, the grinding only happens while the operator pushes the button, and the operator can be relied upon to do crazy stunts like let go of the button, that screaming high RPM should be no problem, should it. And it isn't.
Because the Encore has an RPM limit. That's the difference between mere good design and design that I would love, that speaks to me, potato. Instead of just a boring AC motor, as cheap and sufficient as possible, the Encore evidently has either some kind of RPM limiter, or (more likely) a dedicated driver circuit for the motor.

The grinding grade can not only be adjusted, it can be adjusted with very fine gradations! The other grinder went from 1 to 17, the one I had had before went form 1 to 12, but had two or so unmarked detents beyond that.
The Encore goes from 0 to 40!
0 being the finest, 40 being coarsest, the French Press is the most coarse application named in the manual. For that, the suggested setting is 28.
You know I started off at 40.

This is what I get when I use it:

mahlgut.jpeg

It's not entirely homogeneous. That might relate to the high setting. There certainly is none of the fine coffee dust the other grinder made. None that I can see, nor that I can taste.

The open bag of beans right now is the cheaper (but okay) store-brand Arabica. The very nice Arabica, from an Ethiopian grower's co-op that costs twice as much and that keeps me coming back even when I think I've found a cheaper alternative, it remains on standby.
Right now, I'm in the experimentation phase, to see how nice I can make the coffee from the cheaper beans. For now, the maximum setting appears maybe a bit much.

I will report the progress that I make.

[DerGolgo]

Results the 1st:
At grinding grade 40, all other steps of preparation the same as before, the cheap bean coffee tastes okay. Not delicious, but okay. Note however: I got to the bottom of the urn before it turned bitter, unlike with the previous grinder.

Results the 2nd:
At grinding grade 30, there is definitely more aroma. But I'm leaning to trying the mid-30s, with an extra scoop maybe.

Results the 3rd:
Grade 35, one extra scoop (for a total of 10 in a 1.5 liter French Press).
I'm liking this!

Next: preparation sans 2nd filtration.

[DerGolgo]

Results the 4th: cheap beans sans 2nd filtration. Satisfactory on all levels!

Next: the good beans.

[DerGolgo]

Results the 5th: the good beans, ground at 35, one more scoop than I used to use. Yummy. Also: no embittering after a few hours. Coffee remains surprisingly palatable. Not delicious like when fresh, but not yuch, either.

Five stars. Would recommend.

[DerGolgo]

But OF COURSE I have developed a ridiculously complex coffee-preparation protocol!

It occurred that most of the coffee's delicious aromas only come out at temperatures above 96°C (~205°F), yet even if the water is at that temperature - the other ingredients and the vessel are not, so it will immediately cool down below the magic temperature.

I further noticed that, while steeping, a lot of coffee grounds seemed to float to the surface of the water, didn't look like they were all giving up what they had as well as they could.
And so, I modified my procedure.
Ensure adequate temperature while guaranteeing all coffee grounds are fully immersed.

I also kept experimenting with salt. I was pretty cautious and, after someone on FB accused me of nearly giving them a stroke, I started measuring the salt not by "pile on a knife blade". Instead using my milligram precision scales (of COURSE I have those, do you even know me?! ), and of course keeping track of how much salt I use on my kitchen blackboard (of COURSE...).
I kept slowly working my way up and found that I spent way too much time using way too little salt. From an initial ~3.7g, I have tried less, and then I tried more. I've found that 4.5g has a much better effect at preventing coffee from going yuch as it sits in the pot, and it's still okay, flavor wise. Might try 5g in coming days.

The overly elaborate protocol is as follows:

Ingredients, for the 1,000cc French Press, using a temperature-controlled and displaying kettle, five-fingered Aramid™ and silicone bbq gloves (generally infinitely better than oven-mits for hot kitchen things), and a long cooking spoon for stirring:

• 75-80g of coarse ground coffee (dark roast Arabica)
• 4.5g of plain table salt
• ~1,200cc water @ 97°C~98°C

tools used:

• 1,000cc, stainless-steel vacuum-flask French Press
• temperature controlled kettle with temperature display and OFF button
• five-fingered Aramid™ and silicone bbq gloves (generally infinitely better than oven-mits for hot kitchen things)
• long plastic (Teflon I think) cooking spoon for stirring
• empty coffee pot (receiving vessel)

Procedure:

1. place ~1,200cc of water in kettle, set to boil
2. place the plunger of the French Press into water kettle (see pictured)
   nPXL_20240806_140319436.MP.jpg
3. place coffee grounds and salt in French Press
4. ready spoon
5. ensure you're wearing the Aramid™ gloves
6. interrupt kettle when temperature indicated just hits 96°C, for a final temp just around where 97°C turns to 98°C
7. add heated water to French Press, stirring with spoon
8. continue adding water until maybe 0.5-1cm (~ 0.2 - 0.4") under the French Press's spout
9. Start 4 Minute Timer Now
10. place the FP's plunger on top of contents, lower just enough that fluid comes through the mesh, but do not lower further!
11. place the FP's cover on it, STILL DO NOT DEPRESS PLUNGER
12. very carefully pour more hot water into the spout of the FP, until there's a little overflow
13. we have now ensured that ALL the coffee grounds are fully immersed in water
14. pour excess hot water into empty coffee pot, to pre-heat for coming contents
15. loosely place top on coffee pot to avoid wasting heat
16. after 4 Minute timer dings, depress the French Press's plunger, and empty the receiving coffee pot of pre-heating water
17. pour FP's fluid contents into pre-heated coffee pot
18. done

Is it way too elaborate and containing multiple probably entirely useless steps?
BUT OF COURSE!
Do you even know me?

[red]

Oh man, I have no clue. I have long since changed over to using a small Mr. Coffee maker. It's consistent and easy, and makes coffee for me while I sleep.

[Jaeger]

Cheapo Amazon espresso machine and Cafe Bustello from the grocery store -- so strong and bitter even I need to put some cream in it.

Good stuff.

--Jaeger

[DerGolgo]

Oh, yeah, got an odd review of my coffee last week.
Maybe four hours after I had my last mug, going on five rather, I took a taxi.

And the taxi-driver was incredulous at the delicious coffee smell I was giving off. His words, delicious, and he wasn't acting like a cabbie just making chitchat.
We ruled out the vape (lemon pie, not easily mistaken for coffee).

The guy was maybe in his early 20s and was obsessed with finding a) the best cup of coffee in town. He had begun ranking different outlets of the same bakery chain even.
And b) he was trying to find out how to make good coffee at home. He quizzed me about how I made my coffee at home. I recommended fresh ground Arabica and a French Press. didn't go into salt or the other details.

So however I make my coffee, it seems to make me smell real good for a few hours. Can't really complain 'bout that now, can I.