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It Made My Day

A forum for the off topic stuff. Everything from religion to philosophy to sex to humor (see why it used to be called Buggery?). All manner of rude psychological abuse is welcome and encouraged.
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sweetpea
Maltov Rattlecan
Location: Richmond
Contact:

It Made My Day

Post by sweetpea » Fri Nov 13, 2009 6:52 am

came across this site which has some cute funnies that made me smile...

http://itmademyday.com

I’m a teacher, and when I line up my students, I use the square floor tiles to keep them in a straight line. While reminding the kids to keep their feet inside a square, a little boy asked me in all seriousness, “Is it because the cracks are hot lava?” IMMD

My six year old came into the room and asked me if I remembered when I shot a man in Reno just to watch him die. IMMD.

I wore my glasses to work for the first time recently. My coworkers were making lame jokes about how I looked like clark kent. 5 minutes later I started laughing really hard when I remembered I was wearing superman boxers. IMMD

I went through a McDonald’s drive thru and said “I can has cheeseburger?” There was a pause before I heard “Nom Nom Nom” on the other end. IMMD

My wife took my 3 year old to church for the first time. Getting impatient while waiting for the mass to start, he turned to the wife and asked, “What time does Jesus get here?” IMMD

I played the game of life with my 11 year old daughter the other day. When she landed on the “Get Married” space she put her husband in the back seat of her little car and I said to her “Your husband is supposed to be by your side, marriage is an equal partnership” and she responded “Not when I get married it won’t be. My husband is sitting in the back seat and shutting up” IMMD


dachshund must be german for 'insane dog'

roadmissile
Chief Marketing Schwaggerizer
Location: CO

Re: It Made My Day

Post by roadmissile » Fri Nov 13, 2009 6:55 am

sweetpea wrote:I went through a McDonald’s drive thru and said “I can has cheeseburger?” There was a pause before I heard “Nom Nom Nom” on the other end.
Win.

/RM
/Speed is our religion.

"If requests are an option, I'd like to be hit by a beautiful and highly trained nurse, driving a marshmallow. Naked. And then she would buy me an ice cream." - Rev

User avatar
thrasherbill
Burninator of the Dirt Oval
Location: The Ranch, Langley, B.C. eh
Contact:

Re: It Made My Day

Post by thrasherbill » Fri Nov 13, 2009 9:08 am

roadmissile wrote:
sweetpea wrote:I went through a McDonald’s drive thru and said “I can has cheeseburger?” There was a pause before I heard “Nom Nom Nom” on the other end.
Win.

/RM
Double win.
KZ's are for assholes... - scumbag
Well, if KZ riders are assholes, and CB riders are fucktards, I guess Buell riders can forthwith be known as cunts. - guitargeek
I cannot brain today, I have the dumb. - piccini9
In other news, I want to have sex with your bike. - Beemer Dan
A beard, it's like tits for your face. - MagnusTheBuilder

User avatar
thrasherbill
Burninator of the Dirt Oval
Location: The Ranch, Langley, B.C. eh
Contact:

Post by thrasherbill » Fri Nov 13, 2009 9:26 am

My g/f made homemade bread and when she put yeast into the water to activate it, she said “Arise, my frozen zombies!”

:mrgreen: :mrgreen: :mrgreen:
KZ's are for assholes... - scumbag
Well, if KZ riders are assholes, and CB riders are fucktards, I guess Buell riders can forthwith be known as cunts. - guitargeek
I cannot brain today, I have the dumb. - piccini9
In other news, I want to have sex with your bike. - Beemer Dan
A beard, it's like tits for your face. - MagnusTheBuilder

FastCat
Δv/Δt = Whoopass
Location: Pacific NorthWET
Contact:

Post by FastCat » Fri Nov 13, 2009 9:30 am

A lady in traffic was holding up the line by talking on her cell phone, when the person behind her beeped their horn, she gave them the finger without looking. The then cop turned on his flashing lights… impeding traffic, disorderly conduct, and she had a warrant and IMMD
FTMFW!

...how come I'm never around to see it when stuff like this happens?
guitargeek wrote:I just lubed my dad's nipples.

User avatar
DerGolgo
Zaphod's Zeitgeist
Location: Potato

Post by DerGolgo » Fri Nov 13, 2009 1:11 pm

Now, who could that have been...
Today, I was walking home from work and saw a biker guy walking towards me. He was very tall, muscled and scray looking, carrying a helmet. He had a Star Fleet Comm Badge sewed onto his biker jacket. IMMD.
If there were absolutely anything to be afraid of, don't you think I would have worn pants?

I said I have a big stick.

Ames
Megachiroptera Übermench
Location: Denver, CO in MY OWN DAMN HOUSE!
Contact:

Post by Ames » Fri Nov 13, 2009 1:19 pm

DerGolgo wrote:Now, who could that have been...
Today, I was walking home from work and saw a biker guy walking towards me. He was very tall, muscled and scray looking, carrying a helmet. He had a Star Fleet Comm Badge sewed onto his biker jacket. IMMD.
Vance? No, he's not tall...
Any other guesses?
Cheers,
Ames.
Whatever doesn't kill you, only makes you...stranger!
Quid Ita Serius?
You never know how much you appreciate your civil liberties until they've been violated.

SomeMook
Ayatollah of Mayhem
Location: Stephens City, VA

Post by SomeMook » Fri Nov 13, 2009 1:35 pm

I was walking my dog when a purse snatcher ran past me and stole the poop bag. IMMD.
HAHA!
All the unhappiness in the world is caused by self-delusion. -E.H.

User avatar
thrasherbill
Burninator of the Dirt Oval
Location: The Ranch, Langley, B.C. eh
Contact:

Post by thrasherbill » Fri Nov 13, 2009 1:54 pm

I was eating a donut with a friend’s 15 month old daughter. She asked what the hole was for and I asked “What do you think?” she said ” That’s where you put the bacon”.

Uber Win.
KZ's are for assholes... - scumbag
Well, if KZ riders are assholes, and CB riders are fucktards, I guess Buell riders can forthwith be known as cunts. - guitargeek
I cannot brain today, I have the dumb. - piccini9
In other news, I want to have sex with your bike. - Beemer Dan
A beard, it's like tits for your face. - MagnusTheBuilder

MagnusTheBuilder
Arbiter of Beard
Location: Denver, CO
Contact:

Post by MagnusTheBuilder » Mon Nov 16, 2009 4:57 pm

Yesterday I had sex, ate breakfast, saw a movie, and had sex again (same girl) all while my roommate only played World of Warcraft. IMMD.
Yep, I have had that gamer roommate.
-- The Mag

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